October, 2005


   The Greatest Game Ever Played

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    If The Legend Of Bagger Vance, Bobby Jones, Stroke Of Genius, and now The Greatest Game Ever Played have taught us anything it is that golf is a very easy sport to film beautifully. Director Bill (Pullman? Paxton? Give me a second , let me look it up) Paxton pulls out all the requisite stops, with lush green grass, picturesque vistas, balls' eye view, slow motion swings, views of how the players visualize shots, period costumes, and that absolutely necessary shot from inside the hole as the ball falls in.
    The greatest game ever played (as dubbed by a newspaper at the time) was the final of the 1913 United States Open golf tournament. Twenty year amateur old Francis Ouimet (Shia LaBeouf) was a working class boy and former caddie at The Country Club in Brookline, Massachusetts. When the US Open came there, one of the members sponsored his entry, a big no no in a very class conscious game. The English dominated the game, and they sent their best in Harry Vardon and Ted Ray to reclaim the title. Armed with his home course advantage, Ouimet took Vardon and Ray to an eighteen hole playoff.
    It's a squeaky clean affair, nothing spectacular. If you like to have your class conflicts explicitly spelled out for you, and not simmering below the surface where you might need some insight to figure them out, this is the movie for you.

Grade: B-

   Serenity

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    Joss Whedon gets it. I never watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer or Firefly, but apparently I should have. If Serenity is anything to go by, Joss completely gets what action adventure, science fiction should be. This movie stands as a superior example of the genre.
    Serenity is a beat up old space ship captained by Mal Reynolds (Nathan Fillion). Whedon's script puts us through the requisite scenes of the ship and her crew doing a couple jobs that have nothing to do with the main plot. The plot arrives in the form of River (Summer Glau), an ass kicking psychic rescued from the clutches of the Alliance, the universe's malevolent government. It seems that the Alliance's scientists foolishly showcased River to a group of government officials. She read their minds, knows all the secrets, and is now on the run after being sprung by her brother. The crew take her across the galaxy to expose the government's big secret, chased by their top agent (Chiwetel Ejiofor).
    The Star Wars and Star Trek franchises mostly produce good movies, I'm not disputing that, but when you look at them, they're always so clean. If you looked around the bridge of the Enterprise, all the lights work. Or you look at a bad movie, like The Island, and the things that are meant to be shabby have had a lot of money spent on them to look shabby. Serenity feels real. The shabby interior of the ship looks organic, as if the set designer had ten minutes to throw something together, which is absolutely how it should look. Whedon helps out with some non traditional camera movements that give the feeling of being in the room. This is about as tactile a movie as I have ever seen. I felt like I could reach right out and touch it.

Grade: A-

   Wallace & Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit

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    I find reviewing Wallace and Gromit movies to be one of those pointless exercises. The only thing that would be newsworthy and warranting a review would be if it weren't good. That's not the case with Curse Of The Were-Rabbit.
    Inventor Wallace inadvertently creates a were-rabbit, a giant monstrosity which wreaks havoc on a town getting ready for its annual vegetable festival and competition. It's left to long suffering Gromit the dog to clean up the mess. It is full of dry, situational, English humor, and clever claymation animation. It's not a home run, but it is another solid effort from Nick Park and Bob Baker.

Grade: B+

   Waiting...

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    If you're looking for some Upton Sinclair-esque expose of all the behind the scenes antics that go on at your local chain restaurant, Waiting is not the movie for you. It's another generic workplace comedy where exaggerated characters find themselves in ridiculous situations. We all have a few laughs and go home.
    Our troupe includes ring leader and voice of experience Monty (Ryan Reynolds), guy-who-shouldn't-be-there Dean (Justin Long), jailbait hostess Natasha (Vanessa Lengies), bitchy Naomi (Alana Ubach), clueless manager Dan (David Koechner), oracle dishwasher Bishop (Chi McBride), and a bunch of others, all seen through the eyes of the new guy Mitch (John Francis Daley). The antics are juvenile, beyond the requisite scene where the bitchy customer's food is befouled. Perhaps the most juvenile is the penis game, the object of which is to trick other people into unintentionally looking at your penis. What fun.
    This is a perfectly serviceable comedy. There are laughs, but nothing quotable or memorable. It's only short term purpose will be to keep Ryan Reynolds' name fresh in our minds.

Grade: C-

Into The Blue

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    Credit where credit is due time. The only point in making this movie is that Jessica Alba looks fantastic in a bikini. The producers and director realize this and do absolutely nothing to hide the fact that they realize this. They knew the movie they were making and, bless their hearts, they made it. What is even more remarkable is the fact that the story around Ms. Alba and her swim wear wasn't the painful ordeal you might think it would be.
    Dive bum Jared (Paul Walker) welcomes his friends Bryce (Scott Caan) and new temporary female companion (Ashley Scott) for a week in the sunny Bahamas. Bryce is a lawyer who gets use of a house and boat as thanks for services rendered. Two discoveries are made. One is a sunken ship full of unimagined wealth. The second, a plane full of cocaine that didn't make it to the landing strip. The problem: to claim the shipwreck, they have to positively identify it. They don't have the money to do that, and if they report the plane crash, someone else with the money will claim the ship first. Leave it up to the no good friend and his ditzy chick to come up with a bad idea; recover a couple kilos and sell them to finance the dive. It seems reasonable, all the way up to the part where he tries to sell the drugs back to the owner of the plane.
    Here's a fun game: time how long Jared manages to hold his breath during the final fight. This isn't a movie requiring fun games to pass the time, but they certainly never hurt.

Grade: C+

    Elizabethtown

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    I have spoken of Cameron Crowe before, usually in the context of "once in a lifetime" movies. A once in a lifetime movie is one that a writer or director could look at and realize that they have reached the top of their craft. Good things may still come, but he or she will never be able to recreate that particular magic. For a movie goer, a once in a lifetime movie is one whose run time flies by. One where you (well, at least me) sit forward in your seat with your hand over your mouth not wanting the experience to end, knowing that it must and it must soon. You leave the theater thinking you will never see a movie that good ever again, even though another once in a lifetime movie is only a year-and-a-half or two years off. With Say Anything..., Singles, and Almost Famous, Cameron Crowe is responsible for three such movies. With that kind of a record, what do you do with a movie that is merely good. In the world of romantic comedies, Elizabethtown stands above most others. In the world of Cameron Crowe, it's a weaker effort.
    Drew Baylor (Orlando Bloom) has just lost his company (headed by Phil DeVoss - Alec Baldwin in a terrific one scene role) almost one billion dollars. While arranging his suicide, the phone rings; his father has died while visiting his home town and Drew has to collect the body. The hometown is Elizabethtown, Kentucky, where everybody possesses a down home, folksy charm. They all knew and loved Drew's father and won't hear any of it when he reveals the family's plan of flying him back to Oregon to be cremated. Drew's days are spent being charmed by the local folks.
    But I'm getting ahead of things. On the flight to Kentucky, he meets Claire (Kirsten Dunst), the only flight attendant on a flight where Drew is the only passenger in coach. She drags him up to first class, and keeps him awake talking. She sends him off, armed with a map, a hotel coupon, and her phone number. The next night, at a hotel overrun by a wedding party, he calls Claire because no one else is home to take his call. The phone call lasts all night, culminating in a meeting to watch the sun come up. These two sequences tell you all you need to know (and all that Crowe seems to want to tell us) about Claire. She's not a real person. She is infinitely wise, infinitely personable, and always has the right words instantly at hand. In a different movie, you'd learn that Claire was a figment of Drew's imagination, the vehicle through which his grief stricken mind gets through his ordeal. But this is not a different movie, and Claire is very much flesh and bone. She is, perhaps, the most artificial character Crowe has ever stuck in a movie. Here is a girl who meets a complete stranger at work and open her entire life to him. That this girl would meet this guy in this situation was a little too much. She claims to be a student of human nature, maybe she recognized a person in need. Either that, or there's dozens of guys out there who never found the nerve to call.
    Drew's family takes a back seat to the budding non romance. Claire seems to be there whenever he needs her to be, and even when he doesn't realize he needs her to be. She must have called in some favors at work, because she seems to be awfully available. Each scene together ends with a voiceover where he catalogs the "last look" they have just shared.
    Drew's mother Hollie (Susan Sarandon) is a mess. She copes by being in constant motion - learning to cook, fixing the car, taking tap dancing lessons. She has sent Drew to Kentucky because she is still looked at as the evil woman who stole this beloved man from town, even though that happened thirty years before. She finally achieves some calm and blows into town for the memorial service. She turns her speech into a standup routine and then tap dances to "Moon River". It's a scene that walks the line between touching and ridiculous.
    Cameron Crowe movies always have a killer soundtrack, and this one is no exception. The movie ends with a sequence built almost entirely through music (it is also a sequence that employs the trick of ending a movie with one great sequence to make you forget that what came before it wasn't as good). Claire makes Drew promise that he will drive home. He hasn't really mourned yet, so you know it's up to her to completely break him down and see him through to the other side as only not quite real movie characters can. She prepares what can only be described as the most wonderful (if not improbable) gift that any movie character has ever given to another movie character: a photo album which contains a detailed map, complete with places to stop and a soundtrack which will take him through this 42 hour trip. Of course, we're not supposed to stop and think that this means she has made him between 35 and 40 CDs in the week they've known each other, or that her knowledge of roadside America borders on the encyclopedic. If we do stop to think that this gift would take any real person many months to put together, we are robbed of enjoying a magical solo trip home across America.
    The version released to theaters is eighteen minutes shorter than the version screened to a poor reception at the Toronto Film Festival. From what I've been able to find out, the original suffered the problem of not knowing when to end. Fixing this was a good thing. That version also contained more of the road trip. Cutting from the film's strongest sequence was a bad thing. The theatrically released version ends very abruptly, there needed to be a little more. I must rent the DVD to see these eighteen minutes.
    This is a flawed movie that I feel a great affection for.

Grade: B

    Domino

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    Last we saw of Tony Scott, he was giving us all headaches trotting out every visual trick he ever learned, or even heard about, in Man On Fire. His overuse of style there bordered on the incompetent. In Domino, he reigns it in significantly, to the point where it is merely annoying.
    Domino Harvey (Keira Knightley) grew up in a house with some money. We meet her vain, materialistic mother, and we see some of her upbringing and school experiences. These episodes are sprinkled throughout the movie in Tony Scott's own infuriating, inimitable, non linear way. She decides she's a tough girl and joins up with a group of bounty hunters, led by father figure Ed Moseby (Mickey Rourke).
    There are about half a dozen time lines going on. In one, Domino is being questioned by FBI Agent Mills (Lucy Liu) about a load of money that disappeared. Domino tells her the story of how she got to the interrogation room in a couple more timelines. It's a slight story, punched up by Scott's style and by the addition of Mark Heiss (Christopher Walken), a producer of a reality television show following the bounty hunters.
    Keira Knightley is really starting to impress me. She doesn't make the best movies out there, but she is completely unafraid to play any type of role. Her resume includes such diverse titles as Pirates Of The Caribbean, Love Actually, Pride And Prejudice, King Arthur, and now Domino. Any problem a Keira Knightley movie may have is not caused by Keira Knightley.
    Tony Scott is getting there. He's almost got it to the point where his material goes past watchable to really good. Let's see if Domino is part of a progression or merely an aberration.

Grade: B-

    Good Night, And Good Luck

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    Good Night, And Good Luck is the equivalent of an operating room. Everything is clean, everything is in its place. You have the utmost faith that everything done there will be done correctly. Both are good things, but both strike you as sterile.
    The performances are all top notch, with David Strathairn as Edward R. Murrow, the man whose television news commentaries helped to bring down Joseph McCarthy (who is portrayed only through archival footage), but past the performances and the attention to period detail, there's not as much meat on the bone as I would have liked. We see Murrow's attacks on McCarthy, but it is never put in any sort of context. The only back story we get is from Murrow's newscasts. You know why McCarthy was bad, and I know McCarthy was bad, but you run into trouble when you make a movie about a factual event and assume everybody's up to speed. It was so not fleshed out that there was only one small, inconsequential subplot added.
    This movie was wonderfully acted, wonderfully shot, and wonderfully directed by George Clooney, but the script didn't feel so much as it had been written, rather copied from official transcripts.

Grade: B

    The Fog

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    Where do you start with a movie like The Fog? We've all seen them - movies whose writer or director is so intent on making a horror movie, and so worried about the effects, that no time is spent on the script which consequentially makes no sense.
    The movie opens with an unexplained scene from sometime in the past. These scenes always are the point of whatever horror is going on, but we can only see them a little bit at a time. A group of men row a boat. The boat is chained to something and stops. One leans over the edge. On cue, he is dragged from the boat. Cut back to modern day Oregon. Stevie (Selma Blair), the local DJ gets ready to start her shift (playing hip, college music on an island described as being two miles long). The station is crammed into the top of a lighthouse. Note I didn't say "old" lighthouse. There was room for a radio station in the top of a functioning lighthouse. She seems to be the only DJ. I guess they just turn off the station when she's not there, which must not be very often considering she is shown working the morning drive, evenings, and the overnight show. She must be so fatigued that she loses all awareness of the microphone. Half the things she says on air aren't near enough to be picked up.
    More flashbacks tell us the bad thing in the past had something to do with lepers getting screwed out of some land and being left to die as their ship was set on fire. Apparently their ghosts are back and they're pissed. Also back in town is Elizabeth (Maggie Grace). She went to New York, but returned because she had some spooky feeling she belonged here. I wonder if she fits into all this somehow? Bad hoodoo starts going down as soon as she gets back. Voices seem to call to her (an aside - It's night. You're alone. A disembodied voice calls your name. Does anyone else see wandering out into the fog along the coast wearing only a T-shirt and panties as being a bad thing?)
    An unnatural fog rolls in, and people caught in it die. One group of kids on a fishing boat gets hacked up real good. The survivor has a video of it happening. Of course his friend back on land doesn't show the tape to anyone, allowing suspicion to fall on the survivor. Later, an old book, hidden behind an underwater rock wall comes to light. Everyone recognizes right away that it is important, but no one bothers to sit down and read the damn thing.
    Meanwhile, townspeople are developing leprosy and no one notices.
    It's time for the ghosts' final attack. A fog rolls into town. Within ten minutes of it hitting, people are in such a panic that overturned cars litter the streets and buildings are ablaze. City hall turns out not to be that great of a refuge after an incriminating painting is found on the wall (aside #2 - If you had just murdered a bunch of sick refugees - women, children, everything - would you keep it quiet, or would run right back to town and paint a wall sized mural?) (aside #3 - If you discovered a wall sized mural detailing an atrocity perpetrated by your ancestors, would you destroy it or just stick a bookcase in front of it?)
    Death. Destruction. Murder. Mayhem. Until the lead ghost sees Elizabeth, who by now you recognize as being played by the same woman as in the flashbacks. Ghost man takes her off to wherever, problem solved. I guess she was the descendant of this group of people who were all killed....
    And just in case you were too dense to figure it out, the closing credits play over their old wedding picture.

Grade: F

    Doom

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    There are only two questions that a review of a movie version of Doom has to answer:
    1. It is a video game movie not directed by Uwe Boll, so it at least has a fighting chance of not being a failure.
    2. Yes, there is a scene shot from the marine's point of view with the gun barrel in the bottom of the shot.

Grade: D

    Dreamer: Inspired By A True Story

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    I've figured out a little something about Dakota Fanning - she hasn't figured out the concept of a paycheck movie yet. She does projects she wants to do. When what should be a paycheck movie, like this one, comes along, she doesn't half ass it once the money's in the bank like many actors do, she still gives it her all.
    The Crane family seems to be stuck in a rut of bad luck. Ben (Kurt Russell) loses his job training race horses. The farm is being sold off bit by bit around him. He owns the only stables in the state not to have any horses. He lost his job over Dreamer, a horse that fell during a race and would have been put down if not for the intervention of daughter Cale (Fanning). They nurse the horse back to health, while Pop Crane (Kris Kristofferson) fills Cale's head with ideas that Dreamer can race again.
    Yes, Dreamer: Inspired By A True Story  is a Disney movie aimed at twelve year old girls that I saw just because it stars Dakota Fanning. I will admit this. And like everything she is in, she makes it better just by being there. The actors around her don't seem to phone in it as much (or maybe I'm just reading too much into it). This is a fine family film. They (they being at least half the reviewers who reviewed this movie) say that before girls discover boys, they like horses. If you're that age, first thing you need to do is to stop reading my reviews, you're far too young. The second thing you need to do is to get your parents (or better yet, your older sister) to take you to this movie.

Grade: B