Jeff's Movie Glossary


    Why sit and read through the same boring explanations of my shorthand movie reviewing terms. Follow the link and see exactly what I'm talking about in this new feature shamelessly ripped off from Roger Ebert.
 

-B-
Beginning With The End
    Opening a movie with a brief tease of the end of the story. This is not to say that this technique never works (The Usual Suspects being an example of the technique used correctly) but it usually doesn't. If your movie has a half minute scene with no context followed by a graphic saying "six weeks earlier", you probably could do without the half minute scene.
 

-E-

Eurotrip Rant
    Why is it that movie reviews have to be a certain length? Is me going through the plot nuances, or commenting on the art direction going to tilt you one way or the other? Eurotrip is teen sex comedy. You are in one of two camps. You either have absolutely no interest in seeing the movie or you are interested in seeing the movie and want to know if the only funny scenes sre the ones in the thirty second commercial. A longer review than one that answers the question of the second type of viewer would be a waste of ones and zeroes.

Everybody's Got Bills To Pay
    Actors who take jobs clearly beneath them. Sometimes an ill fated lead, more often than not as a second banana. Movies done as favors and pet projects are exempt.
 

-F-
Funny Guy/Unfunny Movie
    The mistaken impression that if you cast a funny guy as your lead, he'll carry all the comedic weight and you'll have a funny movie even if you don't write any jokes. See most of the works of Martin Lawrence for examples.
 

-G-
Gotcha
    The most hackneyed cliche of the horror genre. A character will be walking down a hall, think everything is fine, turn around and Ah!, there's someone behind him. Or, a character will be looking in a medicine cabinet, and Ah! there's someone in the mirror.
 
-H-

The Hangar
   
This is an apparent commentary on the weakness of the airline industry. Whenever a group of con men, toughs, race car modifiers, whatever needs a place to hide out, plot, work, whatrever, there is always an empty airplane hangar which can be taken over and completely equipped in the span of an afternoon.

-L-
Let's Compare Paychecks
    If a character tells you how much money he makes, it will turn out that he's the bad guy and is screwing everybody over for the money. His evilness is inversely proportional to his salary.
 

-P-
Poetic License Run Amok
    When, for the sake of (usually failed) comedy, the characters engage in activity so obviously fake that it distracts from the rest of the movie. Seen most often in comedies involving police work.
 

-S-
Second Generation Movie
    Movies made by people who have seen all the good movies in a genre and decide that they can make their own. The result is a step behind and strangely failiar.

Sequel Dislaimer
    Before 1999, I almost never went to the movies. When it comes to sequels, odds are I've never seen the original.

-T-
Thank You Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer
    The belief that the faster the car chases and the bigger the explosions, the better the movie.
 

-V-
Vomit Cam
    The excessive use of hand held camers, camera movement, or frenetic editing for no reason other than to have hand held cameras, camera movement, or frenetic editing.
 

-W-
We Don't Need No Steenkin' Physics
    Often paired with Thank You Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer, this refers to the suspension of the laws of physics duing car chases or when characters run away from explosions.