Eating everyday is overrated

Last night was the first night this week I had dinner with my family. This has been just an insane week due to both work and home schedules. Obviously, a little recap is on order.
Monday was occupied with swimming, or so we thought. Lauren started her swim lessons last Saturday and I feel it's important that she practices what she learns at least once between each lesson. So, off we went to the YMCA. Since the open swim time is 7-8, my night was basically show up at home, grab Lauren, head back out. No dinner for me. We get to the Y, tell the desk attendant we're there for open swim. She hands us a lock for the Family locker room and off we go. We change into our swimsuits, take a quick shower and head out to the pool. The lifeguard, who knows us because she's there at the swim lesson time too, seemed shocked. Turns out, there is no open swim on Monday Night. In fact, the only open swim on a week night is Tuesday 7-8. GAH!!! There's Lauren, wrapped in her towel all excited to go swimming when I have to break her little heart and tell her we can't. Poor thing just stood there not saying a word, wearing a slight pout on her face. I explained that the pool wasn't open for practicing swimming, only for people in class and that we would have to come back the next night. I also said it was alright to be sad or disappointed because I was too, but we still had to leave. She understood and we went back to the locker room to dry off and change into our clothes. She took this so calmly, I decided a little reward was in order. I told her that because she was so good when I said we had to leave without swimming, we were going to get an ice cream. That seemed to lift her spirits and she began talking again. You gotta love phrases like "I a little disappointed, but it's okay" coming from the mouth of a 3 year old. After a quick call home to explain what as going on, it was off to Colonial Cafe for a little sundae. In lieu of dinner, a Peanut Butter Fudge Chipper Sundae shared with Lauren was a nice substitute.
Tuesday brought actual swimming. Again, it was a get home, grab Lauren, head back out. Again ... no dinner for me. Why diet when you can just not eat? Lauren loved swimming, jumping into the pool, practicing her sit dives, and kicking off the wall. After swimming was over, Lauren asked if we could get another ice cream. How do you tell a child that we could go get an ice cream, but only if she never wanted to see daddy again. Because mommy would kill him.
Wednesday brought tutoring math at the local library. I did manage to scarf down some KFC, so that's 1 for 3 on actually having dinner. this particular session had to be the most stressful of all the ones I've done. There were NINE kids!!!! NINE!!! There were 2 tutors. Because I'm better at switching gears between the different subjects (trigonometry, geometry, algebra, geography, and basic math), I took 5 kids while the other tutor focused his efforts on the 2 kids who needed close supervision. It worked, but I was exhausted after 2 hours.
Last night, while I get dinner with the family, it wasn't be at home. The PTL at Lauren's preschool is held a family picnic night. KFC was on the menu again. Nothing like variety in one's diet to make skipping dinner seem not so bad. :P They had little signs marking the spots for each class. I managed to forget plates and silverware while at KFC, but the parents there were extremely helpful. One ran into the school's kitchen to get us some plastic ware. I think we're going to like it here. The best part of the evening was watching Lauren run around with the other kids. We don't often get to see her interact in this way, but it was quite enjoyable. She joined up with about 5 kids and they began running around in a line. Starting at the fence, going to the trees, around the soccer goal, and back. Eric loved running too. It's always hard to judge your own childrens development, but several parents seemed quite impressed with Eric's running, considering he's only 17 months old. I'm sure I can guess Lauren's favorite part. The giant dessert table filled with cookies and brownies and cake. It's always a nice excuse to make several visits to the dessert table under the guise of "getting stuff for your family". "Why of course Eric likes Lofthouse cookies! That's why I picked up 4." Maybe this not eating dinner thing is a way to gorge myself on those days I do eat dinner. Hmm ... have to study this one further.

Shhhh.

Work has kept me incredibly busy. As evidenced by this post, I guess. Just logged off so I can get some sleep before taking Lauren to preschool tomorrow. Since today kind of sucked, I felt the need to post what Lauren told me this morning.

Daddy, we got you cake but I not tell you cuz it's a secret.

Brings a smile to my face even at 1:30 in the morning after a very long day.

The Good, The Bad, The Sobbing

Even though Lauren's first day of preschool was short, it went fairly well. She was shy most of the time, but did play a bit and even managed to talk to a few of the other kids. This evening, she even told mommy she wanted to go back to the school.

The bad was on the way back to daycare. I made the mistake of saying when she got back, it would be lunch time and, probably, a nap. She immediately realized that outside play time had passed and she wasn't there for it. That started a host of issues. She began to cry, which makes her clingy, which forced me to carry her downstairs at daycare. That then caused Eric to catch a glimpse of me, so I had to hold him for a little while. So, she's crying, he's crying, and the daycare provider is doing their best to help me. In the end, I just handed Eric off and ran out.

Hopefully, this transition will get better in time. I just need to remember to keep my big mouth shut.

Going Insane

Waiting for one thing is nerve wracking enough. Waiting for two will drive me downright batty. Today is Lauren's first day of pre-school. It's a really short day to serve as a Meet & Greet. Class starts at 10:30. It's no 9:40. I want to leave now, but that sets the arrival time about 30 minutes too soon. Don't want to look like a freak the first day. I really need to save that for the 2nd day.

Also, we recently ordered a new camera to replace our now dead-as-a-doornail Canon A80. The package requires someone to sign for it. UPS tried to deliver it yesterday but no one was home. If they come in the next 20 minutes, we'll be here to sign for it. We do have a backup plan (disposable cameras were on sale for $2 at Meijer), but it would be nice to make the first pictures on the new camera Lauren's 1st day of school.

Guh! This wait is killing me.

A Close One Averted

Tragedy almost struck early in this trip. While driving to Ocean City, Debbie came to the horrific realization that our camera had gone to the great pixel screen in the sky. The LCD on our Canon had been acting up, but we were always able to take pictures. This time, though, we couldn't even take pictures. Debbie was inconsolable. This great family time would not have any photos to remember. Plans were made to run to Walmart to get a new one when my mom made an astounding announcement. My parents, the people who recently developed a roll of film that took it's first picture at Christmas 1997, recently bought a new digital camera. Not only that, but they actually remembered to bring it with them! Our trip was saved. And thanks to that good news, Debbie was able to take a video of Lauren's very first wipe out in the ocean. [Quicktime needed to see video]

The Myth Maker

I have discovered the answer to an archeological mystery that has stymied experts for centuries. How did the Greek mythologies get their start? Who was the first to tell of these stories? I have that answer my friends. All of Greek mythology was created by a parent of a 3 year old just to stop that infernal question "Why?".
I have now joined that great tradition of myth making in an effort to get my 3 year old to stop asking why. Honestly, how do you answer "Why is it raining?" Any scientifically accurate answer I could muster would almost immediately result in another why question. "Why does water evaporate?" "Why does water condense". Quite frankly, Lauren needs to be at least 5 years old if I'm going to lecture her in climatology (accreditation pending). So, I came up with this: "It's raining because the clouds are sad. Their friend, the sun, has left, so they're crying". Huzzah! That stopped the why questions! Of course, every time it rains now, Lauren has to repeat my newly created myth, but I can deal with that.

Growing up too fast

It is amazing how fast the kids grow up.
In a matter of a few months, Eric went from crawling to running; gummy smile to 10 teeth; eating baby food to demanding my steaks for dinner. He also apparently suffers from PMS. I have no idea how this happens to a 15 month old boy, but it has. He can throw the most extraordinary fits imaginable. These fits usually include flinging his head into something hard. If you're lucky, it's an inanimate object instead of something animate ... like my cheek. What makes this PMS though is not the fit itself, but that in the middle of these fits, he laughs. This weekend, he was laying on the floor screaming like a banshee. As a concerned and caring father, I decided to pretend I was going to step on him. He found this hysterical. Each time I planted my foot on his stomach, he giggled and laughed and guffawed. Each time I removed my foot, he immediately resumed the tirade. No transition. No start up phase. It was Full Laugh - Full Scream - Full Laugh - Full Scream and so on. and I thought Lauren was moody!
Instead of throwing a fit, Lauren almost caused me to throw a fit. This morning, we cuddled on the couch and watch the Weather Channel. It was a great moment that I cherished, because earlier this morning, she did something that was a little too ... adult. Walking from Eric's room to ours, she tripped, got up and exclaimed "Awwww ... DAMMIT!" I froze in my tracks. I didn't know what to say. This was the first cuss word she's ever uttered. I wanted to chastise her, but I also wanted to compliment her on using it correctly. I mean, if one were to exclaim "Awww ... DAMMIT", that would be the time. I did gather my composure and explain that she used a bad word and she shouldn't speak like that. As with any parent, I then did a search of my mental data bank. I was worried that somehow I had taught her this exclamation and was going to pay the price when Debbie found out. I couldn't remember saying this around the kids, so I thought I was safe. Searching for a source, I mentioned the incident to Lauren's daycare provider. Her face said it all. One of the kids at daycare had said this phrase earlier. Phew! No retribution for me. I could safely tell debbie about the incident and not have my beating heart ripped out of my chest and, still beating, displayed for my horror. Now, that still might happen for Debbie's amusement, but at least it wouldn't be for a good reason ... well ... at least not THAT reason. There's reasons a plenty other than that, but I at least I wasn't guilty of teaching our daughter to curse.

Well, not yet anyway.

It was nice quality time, til it wasn't

Lauren has a little bout of pneumonia right now, so she and daddy had a day home together yesterday and today. I worked from home, but we managed to fit in some quality time.
Yesterday was lunch at the Cow and Ice Cream Restaurant (aka Colonial Cafe). I think I have found the perfect dessert buddy. Better even than Misss You Can Have the Ice Cream on the Molten Chocolate Cake. We topped off our lunch with a PBF Chipper replacing the peanut butter cup on top with mini M&M's. The sundae stands about 7 inches tall and Lauren, bless her heart, limits her entire experience to the layer of whipped cream and M&M's on the top. How great a dessert buddy is she? As I worked my way through the chocolate and chocolate chip ice cream with hot fundge and peanut butter sauce, Lauren opined

You can have the yucky stuff, daddy

Not only does she let me eat the good stuff, she thinks I'm a hero for doing it!!
Today, I asked if she wanted to go anywhere for lunch.

The CASTLE RESTAURANT!!!

Ah yes. The Castle Restaurant (known as the Village Squire to you and me Gus). On the way there, she realized what awaited.

Daddy, at the castle restaurant, they have POPCORN!!!!

Indeed they do have popcorn. And it is tasty.
With all this quality time, Lauren must have figured she was long overdue on making daddy look like an idiot. We had one more stop before heading home to get some supplies to fix a sink. Off to the hardware store we went. As we get out of the car, Lauren decides it's much too warm for jackets so she takes her off and asks me to do the same. I had to agree (it was pretty warm), so I took off our coats, put them in the car, locked it, and we went in to get the stuff. It was upon walking out that I realized what the pipsqueak was really up to. My keys were still in the coat. In the locked car. Great! I was able to get in touch with a locksmith friend to open the car, but that wasn't enough humiliation for the angelic looking imp. No, she had to let EVERYONE who walked in and out of the store know that daddy had locked us out of the car. Not just one or two people. EVERYONE! The twinkle in her eye and smirk on her face let me know this was no accident. She had set me up. And this was her time to remind me who's boss. I was never happier to see my friend then when he got there.
Next time, we're walking babe.

Dad: One exceptionally good at embarassing you

I'm at home today with a sick little one. Fortunately, it's the bigger little one. Lauren woke up screaming last night complaining about her ears. So, I stayed home with her and took her to the doctor. The doctor asked which ear hurt, but she clammed up tighter than ... well ... a clam. (My analogies are just horrid today). He took a look in the right ear and exclaimed "Oooh, I guess it's the right one." To be thorough, he checked the left ear. That led him to say, "Hmm ... I guess it's both!". Not only that, but the infection has blistered some. Based on his explanation, it was a shock Lauren hadn't spent the whole day just writhing in agony. Except ... other than the outburst last night, she's been her normal self.
To make for a special day, I decided to take her to a restaurant for lunch. Naturally, the restaurant chosen is more known for it's ice cream sundaes than food. After all, M&M minis, whip cream, and a cherry on top of a chocolate and chocolate chip ice cream smothered in hot fudge and peanut butter would brighten anyone's day. (Except for maybe billwith2js).
After lunch, we got her medicine and headed home. I had to do some work (what a lovely use of PTO), during which she was quite understanding. Once that was done, it was time for fun. We played with now half deflated balloons from Eric's party this weekend. That included her laughing hysterically as I tried to keep 2 balloons in the air by diving left and right and making mince meat of my knees. It was painful, but her laugh just erases any sense of pain.
At one point, I asked if she wanted to play keep the balloons in the air, but she preferred to watch and laugh.

Me: Ah! I see. You like seeing me make a fool of myself.
Her: Don't worry daddy! I know you can do it!

I thought I had a few more years before having to deal with a snarky daughter! She's just growing up too fast. Next thing you know, she'll be doing that tongue click/eye roll combo when I inevitably say something stupid or embarrassing. After all, what is being a father except doling out embarrassment as often as possible?

I Think I'm Going to Throw Up

Over the past few weekends, I have been forced to engage in an activity I loathe: Exercise. I have tried to avoid this as much as possible, something my portly girth can attest to. Unfortunately, an insipid little person has taken it upon herself to be my personal trainer, whether I want one or not.
The problem all started with a new bike. When riding her tricycle, I could easily keep pace with just a leisurely walk. Having tires only 4 inches in diameter will do that. As we all know from our geometry classes, that's a mere 12.6 inches per rotation of the wheel. Lauren's little legs couldn't drive that puppy fast enough to make me break a sweat. Now, however, she's gotten a big girl bike with wheels a full 12 inches in diameter. THAT'S THREE TIMES THE SIZE!! Couple the bigger wheel with a more standing position and she goes so fast I have to jog to keep up. JOG!!! ME!!! I am especially annoyed when she starts going full tilt, then looks back and laughs at my continued insistence on not wearing a sports bra. She's got a wicked sense of humor for a three year old.
Why not just get a bike of my own? Because, silly reader ... ... I have no answer for that. But it would be tantamount to admitting I am going to work out because now I have made an investment. At least this way, Debbie might, possibly, have to do the running. In all likelihood though, it will be me. I just can't wait to be the laughing stock of the neighborhood when people are actually outside to see my portly behind bounding down the sidewalk in a desperate attempt to not be a negligent father. Hopefully, everyone will keep it down to a snicker until I pass out of earshot. Right now, that's the best I think I can expect.

I would have tried Valium, but there are laws

Prior to kids, having either Debbie or I sick was annoying, but could be a blessing. If Debbie were ill, I would take care of her, but I could also hop on the computer for long stretches. Even with one child, things weren't so bad. After all, plenty of rest time could be had when nap/quiet time came around. Now, putting one of us out of commission on a weekend is borderline cruel and unusual punishment. With two kids, there's no down time at all. I think they secretly confer to make sure they each demand their naps at separate times of the day so you have to keep at least 1 occupied at all times.
It all started last weekend when Eric contracted a fluctuating fever with some minor coughing. We figured it was an ear infection coupled with a cold. By Tuesday, we decided a pediatrician visit was required and found out the poor little guy had pneumonia. Blech! By Thursday, Lauren started sporting the signs of a cold, but fortunately not pneumonia. On Friday, I too was stricken with a cold. Then came Saturday morning. I only had congestion, with some sneezing and coughing. Debbie woke up in the middle of the night with the flu. That put me in charge of both kids for the whole day. Things went pretty well right up to about 4 in the afternoon. Around that time, my mind and body decided they were done and wanted to take a break. The kids did not oblige. I trudged through the remaining 4 hours of the day, but playing with them was really tough. I became terse and a bit snippy. Especially when Lauren would pull out her crying for no reason routine. Thank goodness for The Jungle Book. That kept Lauren occupied for an hour and a half while I gave Eric some one on one time. Once the movie was over though, it was back to both of them demanding all my attention. Debbie came down around 6:30 because Eric had heard mommy talking and went ballistic (he loves his mommy!). Debbie got him to nap while I took to the task of dinner. After the kids went to bed, so did I.
Fortunately, Sunday found Debbie feeling much better and able to at least help a bit. Good thing too, I'm not sure I could have gone that second day all by myself again feeling like I was. I've decided that next time, though, I think I'm going to sign up to be the sick parent. Suddenly the idea of holing up in the bed room with some occasional sickness unpleasantries doesn't sound nearly as bad.

Short and Sweet

Lots going on ... very very busy ... quick updates:
1. Sheba is a welcome addition and adjusting nicely. Does seem to have an unhealthy affinity for the trash.
2. Lauren is potty trained completely now. May move out of nighttime diapers tomorrow.
3. Eric is crawling like a fiend, standing with support.
4. Moved groups inside company, now very very busy which I haven't been in a long time.
5. Eric getting over pneumonia; kind enough to pass on colds to Debbie, myself, and Lauren. He's so giving.
6. Debbie back at work leaving me to get kids ready in the morning. Awfully fun.
7. Before we leave, Lauren tells Sheba "Bye Bye! You be good! No pee pee, no potty, no trash!"
8. Sick and tired of the damn snow. Particularly since I don't have a snow blower. Getting one after the season.
9. Stupid weather channel is calling for 2+ inches on Sunday.

One more thing I lose.

Vacation days just aren't the same when you have kids. Today, I took a vacation day so I could stay home with Lauren. She was sick last night and we felt it best to keep her at home today. Why couldn't today have been like Monday. I had a holiday and the rest of the family didn't. So, I stayed home and played Call of Duty 4 all day. Today, I couldn't even get downstairs to play the Xbox even 1 little bit.

The Clock is Ticking, Get to Work.

Do you expect a toddler to ask questions that would task even the most learned scholar would have a hard time answering? I sure don't! And I certainly didn't expect such a question in the car today.
Eric had to go to the doctor's office this evening, so I went there and picked up Lauren to take her home. On the way, we had our usual conversations and song singing. Again, as usual, she expressed that we were going to see Sheba when we got home? That's when she whipped out the big guns.
Lauren: "Daddy, where's Lizzy?"
Me: "Um ... Lizzy died sweetie", I said confused because she's gotten this part of the topic as far as I knew.
L: "Is Lizzy at the dentist?"
M: "No sweetie ... she died."
L: "But where is Lizzy?"
M: "She's in doggie heaven."
L: "Can we go to heaven and get her?"

Here's where I just had to stop. I completely understood her thinking and could not figure out a way to placate the curiosity. She knew I took Lizzy to the doctor's and she also knew people don't stay at the doctor's, so Lizzy had to be somewhere. Lauren wanted to know where that somewhere was and how do we get there. What is a parent to do at this point? I did what I thought best: stall.

Me: "Honey, you're going to have to give daddy a bit on that one. If you still want to know tomorrow, you can ask me then."

Now ... please help. I need to know an answer in 18 hours. Better get on that, the clock is ticking.

Is there a Clapper for this Switch?

Anyone I asked about potty training our daughter had the same thing to say: "When she gets it, it will be like flipping a switch."
In my head, I knew this to be true. It was just really hard to keep that in mind when potty training had gone so slowly. We initially started trying last year, but it seemed to stress her out a lot. She began having severe pains going poop from holding it in. Figuring the stress was just too much, we decided to back off until after Eric was born.
Our second attempts began in late July/early August. We got some training pants and went back to work. Pee pee got picked up very quickly (especially at day care). However, going regularly was still a long way off and pooping on the potty was a pipe dream at this point. Fast forward to November and Lauren's birthday party. A friend of ours approaches and asks if Lauren is used to sitting on the potty by herself. Not to my knowledge, but there she was. Seeing me, she simply states "I don't want to go pee pee in my diaper!". Well new, color me pink!
November was really good for using the potty for peeing, but not a single "movement". Things were going so well that we decided Lauren was ready for underwear. The first underwear tryout went as well as good be expected. She wet herself and realized these new fangled things don't work quite as well as diapers. It was amazing to see her "get it" so quickly. One accident and she knew that she had to be on the potty to go pee. Pooping was still an issue, but my little girl devised a plan. Since we still have her wear diapers when she goes to bed, she would wait until bed time and, no more than five minutes after the diaper goes on, she'd push out a poop. A little annoying, but it was thrilling to see how exciting underwear was to her.
Fast forward to Friday. I come home from work to get this exciting announcement from Lauren: "Daddy! I went poo poo on the potty!!". We were so happy for her and she was so excited too! We got a repeat performance yesterday and more praise was heaped upon her. All of a sudden, she "gets it". I'm waiting to see how the rest of this fairs, but it is such a relief to see how, after all the frustration and self doubt, we didn't emotionally scar our daughter for life. She won't be wearing diapers when she's 13!
If there is one thing I am truly thankful for is the cutoff date for school. If Lauren was born before September, she would have had the opportunity to go to school this year. I simply cannot fathom the stress associated with that. Now, she has a full 9 months to perfect this skill. It truly is a load off our minds (so to speak).

I'm not crying, I'm just washing my eyes

There are times when children do things so upsetting to their parents, the only recourse is to huddle away in a corner, cry, and ponder what went wrong. When confronted with this situation, I'm not saying I cried, but I did huddle in a corner and ponder what mistakes I might have made.
After returning safely home, my in-laws came to visit the next day. Due to schedules and work, we did not get to open their or our presents until the 1st. So, this entire time, there are presents under the tree. There are even some special presents that weren't under the tree before we left for Baltimore. Lauren barely noticed them. Okay, I said, she's having fun playing with grandma and she was used to not touching the presents under the tree. She'll get excited when we start opening. The day arrives and we proudly announce we're going to open presents today. Lauren seems pleased with the idea, but does not reach any sort of fever pitch one can only achieve by injecting adrenaline directly into the bloodstream or by giving a child a cookie. Midway through opening presents and Lauren's done. She's got some toys she likes and she's decided that's enough for today. Ooookaaay, I think to myself. She's just tired and there were a lot of presents (I think grandma robbed a Toys R Us or something). We try again on Thursday and proudly announce it's time to open presents again. Do you know what my darling little angel said? "Not yet, maybe later."

WHAAAAAAAAA?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Not yet?!?!? NOT YET?!?!?! Why not just rip my heart out and perform the Mexican Hat Dance on it? My own daughter ... *sniff* ... showing ... *sob* ... SELF-RESTRAINT!!!! WAAAAA! I'm still at a loss. How could she do this to me? I wanted to open presents and she wouldn't let me!
Well, there's only one thing to do now. Lauren's a lost cause. Time to refocus my efforts on Eric. I'll make him a present opening fiend with no time for things like thank you's and reading the cards if it's the last thing I do.

A Christmas Rhyme

Twas the morn before leaving for Christmas
And what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a toddler with an ear infection
Just a simple test of our Christmas cheer

Stages of Life: Crawl, Chew Food, and Poop

Several milestones have been reached and I've just been too lazy to say anything. Bad daddy!
First, Eric is crawling! The little guy was so close for so long it was getting comical. For a period of about 2 weeks, he would get on all fours, rock back and forth, and then do a face plant on the rug. This was followed by some minimal movement achieved through using his arms to drag himself forward. Finally, he got his legs to work in concert with his arms and Voila! Crawling baby!
Second, we have a tooth! This boy has been drooling so much recently, boats with passengers wearing rain ponchos would travel up the river that lead from his mouth to the drain. Salmon could be seen jumping over his head trying to get upstream. There weren't enough towels to contain the saliva torrent he created (Hmm .. hyberbole much?). It took several midnight - 3 am blood curdling screams, but the bugger broke through and he now has a sharp little tooth. I can't say I've seen it yet because, even though he smiles a ton, he likes to stick his tongue out when doing it, making it a bit hard to see. I have felt it though.
Third, real food ... well ... not real ... he's not eating steaks and hamburgers (though he looks like it). He's already passed the stage 1 foods and easily progressing through the stage 2's. This boy can eat! On the rare occasion when I've fed him, he just opens wide and takes container after container of food. From green beans to vegetable beef, no food is too delicious to ignore.
Finally, potty training. Yes, we're still trying and it's been interesting. Lauren has no problem going pee pee on the potty. She is quite happy about it, though there is the occasional wet diaper still. It's poo poo that is going to be the end of Debbie and I. She steadfastly refuses to go poo poo on the potty. We've tried everything. She's almost run out of reward stickers for having a dry diaper and going pee pee, but the poo poo on the potty stickers have yet to be touched. We've tried being gentle, being stern, telling her to sit on the potty when she gets "the face", just about anything we can think of. She still refuses. We're going to try the "$75 solution" next, and it might work, but it's just a pain to see through to the end. Fortunately, Lauren doesn't have to be fully potty trained until August when she's old enough to go to pre-school, but I would like to be done with this sooner than that. Much sooner. If anyone says potty training a toddler is easy, I may have to do a beat down. Preferably with a bag full of poopy diapers.
So those are the recent milestones for the kids. Hopefully, the wife and I can retain just enough sanity to get through this and then start all over again with Eric. Hooray!

In case of emergency, use for good

Last week brought some unsettling news in to the Twench household. I always knew Lauren was born with an innate power I would have no chance of controlling. I could only hope to train her to use this power for good rather than evil. Unfortunately, the training has to start a lot earlier than I had ever imagined. You see, last week, Lauren's day care provider told us about a little incident that occurred when they were at the park. Lauren has 2 friends about her age, we shall call them Shy & Sensitive and Little Caveboy (both boys). Shy & Sensitive is exactly that, but is starting to come out of his shell. He likes to talk, especially with lauren. Little Caveboy likes to grunt and scream as boys like to do. Lauren used to hang out with Little Caveboy all the time, but lately has gravitated towards Shy & Sensitive. Thus begins "The Incident". At the park, Lauren gave Shy & Sensitive a hug, but not Little Caveboy. If you were Little Caveboy, how would you react? Yup ... a fight ensued between the two. With her blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, and slender physique, I knew Lauren would hold tremendous sway over those of the male gender in her surroundings. I just never in my wildest dreams figured we would hit that point at 3 years old.

Happy Birthday Lauren

It's a day late, but I forgot to mention that, yesterday, Lauren turned 3 years old. In the past year, her hair has gone from thin and whispy to longer and little thicker. Her height has reached to over 3 feet. Her vocabulary just grows by leaps and bounds and her pronunciation get clearer every day. She's also gone from an only child to the big sister. What a year.

We Theme Because We Can

As Heather opined, it is quite nice to be able to theme your children's halloween costumes. Here we are about ready to set off on the grand Trick-or-Treat Adventure.

 

Gallery Update

It's Friday afternoon. You don't want to work, do you? Well, here's a nice time waster. PICTURES!!!

Watch the installation of our new windows.
March pictures.
April pictures .
May pictures
Some renovations to Eric's and Lauren's room.
June pictures.
July pictures.
August pictures .
September pictures.
Eric's Baptism.
Pictures from our trip to Greenville, SC, Charlotte, NC, Baltimore, and Ocean City.

Okay, so you may need more than the afternoon.

The Ups and Downs of Fatherhood

Yesterday was one of those classic fatherhood days. For the past 3 years, I have found it difficult to have one of those "bleck" days where nothing goes right. I have also found it difficult to have one of those fantastic days where everything goes right. Kids tend to see to it that you have some really good highs and some really good lows, all in the same day.
Let me start with the lows. Lauren was in a "Let's see what I need to do to make daddy's face turn red" mood. I wish I could have seen it coming, but she was in a great mood that morning and even when I walked in the door. I thought I might have a good night right until I said it was bed time. The look on her face was as if I had taken her favorite doll and ripped it's little head off. In her mind, I immediately transformed from SuperDad to OgreDad with 3 little words: "It's bed time". Things just went down hill from there. She tested me at every step, slowly tinting my face from the normal, healthy, pasty white to ever darkening shades of Daffy Duck blowing his top red. Naturally, I did my best to hide my anger since ... well ... blowing up just tends to make the situation worse. You hold onto that until your spouse asks a seemingly innocuous question like "How was your day?" and you can blow up then. From placing her in bed, until she actually was asleep (or at least willing to not get out of bed and yell out the door) took over an hour. Ugh. As any parent, I absolutely loathe feeling angry at my child, but it happens sometimes.
Now for the high. If you are ever feeling down, feeling like you accomplished absolutely nothing in the past 24 hours, I have found the remedy for that. Simply head towards the bathroom and your toddler will demand to follow you. For some reason, potty training toddlers love to see how others do their business to pick up on any best practices. When the distinct sounds of things going in the water emanate from the toilet, he expression of joy on their face will brighten your day. Their exclamations of "You go Pee Pee!! You push out the Poo Poo!!" will instill a pride that Yes ... you did push out the poo poo and you did a darn good job at it. There's just no better feeling.
Now, the truly gifted child will not need a whole day to give you a high and a low. The good ones can achieve that in a mere 15 second span. Case in point, after her 4th time out of bed and yelling out the door, I marched in, angrily picked her up, and forcibly placed her in bed, which caused the water works to go in overdrive. I wasn't proud of this, but I had had enough of the bed time delays. I waited a bit and then snuggled with her to make her feel a little better. After tucking her in for the upteenth time that night, I was praying this one would stick. Even so, I softly whisper, "I love you". As I leave, I hear the following: "I love you too". Crap. Guess I can't be angry after that anymore.

Thus begins the favoritism

"Mom always liked you best!"
Have you or a sibling ever used this phrase? I haven't, but I know my brother has. Because ... well .. mom did like me best. What's not to like? I was the perfect child. Anyway, I digress. Yesterday, I actually did something for which I am ashamed. Eric is getting too big for the infant carrier. He's little feet dangle off the end like some perverse cat toy. Debbie and I both knew it was time for an upgrade. On the other end, Lauren is close to outgrowing her convertible car seat. Her weight is still in Range, but her height is pushing the limits of the 5 point harness. Hmm ... we could buy Eric 2 new convertible car seats at a cost of about $160 each OOOORRR we could move Eric into Lauren's seat and get her a new toddler seat at a cost of about $40 each. Wonder which one we chose? Yes ... Eric, who is using Lauren's infant carrier, will get to reuse Lauren's convertible car seat. Our only saving grace is both were a neutral color so our little boy wasn't gallivanting about in a bright pink with purple flowers infant carrier. The convertible seat too is a nice blue and black, so no issues there. Still, the cycle of hand-me-downs has continued. Just wait til Eric figures out he'll get Lauren's new booster seat too. And this one is pink with purple flowers.
We love you son. No .. really we do.

An Unknown Now Known

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS SOME GRAPHIC POTTY DESCRIPTIONS. PARENTAL DISCRETION ADVISED.
As a parent, my world is constantly shaken by the discovery of here-to-fore unknown aspects of the inner workings of the universe. Case in point, did you know a woman could possibly miss the toilet while sitting down
We're in the middle of potty training right now. Lauren is successfully going pee pee on the potty (having heard 18 stickers since in a little under a month). She does like privacy though, so I stand outside the door while she goes. Lately though, I noticed the seat was getting wet. I figured the only explanation was she wasn't sitting properly, like leaning back to far. Endeavoring to figure out what was going on, I peeked in and saw what was happening. She was sitting correctly on the potty, not leaning back at all. However, she had clenched her legs so tightly that the urine was coming up and out the hoo hah (Yes .. I'm having fun with this okay?!) onto the seat. I was flabbergasted! I didn't think it was even possible for something like that to happen. Ladies? Is this something you knew and were hiding from us men?

Next, she'll want a boyfriend

Lauren is growing up way to fast. This weekend highlighted 3 distinct aspects where I'm not ready for her to be as old as she is.
First, control. We were at a restaurant when Lauren turned and said, "Mommy, I need to go pee pee!". Having heard this before, we had to make sure she knew what she wanted. "Sweetie, did you already go pee pee, or do you want to go to the potty?" "POTTY!" Debbie got up, took Lauren to the potty and, sure enough, the little girl did her business. We had been using the potty at home, but it was more of a sit on it and see if something happens. This was the first time Lauren felt the urge and knew what to do. You should have seen our beaming faces after that little nugget ... well ... stream, in this case, came to light.
Up next, femininity. We decided to attend the annual Sunset Festival our town holds. There were all kinds of things for Lauren to do, including a nail salon offering free nail polish for girls. There must be something innate in females around the world that attract them to cosmetics like a moth to fire. Once Lauren saw what the ladies at the table offered, she had to have it. Even more scary was she knew pretty much what her role in finger nail polishing was. Almost, like some dormant gene activated by the beautification ritual she witnessed on the girl in front of us. I was thinking she would go for a bright pink or a purple nail polish, maybe even a silver. Nope, she went straight for the Boy Toy Red. I was having a hard enough time with my little girl getting her finger nails all gussied up, but this was getting unbearable. Here was my blond haired, blue-eyed, tan little girl getting a shade of finger nail polish that told any 3 year old boy in a 1 mile radius to come hither. When it was time to get a pink monkey tattoo, it, fortunately, went on the arm, but I know the day will come when it won't be on the arm, but the small of the back. When that day comes, I'm locking her in the basement and buying a shotgun.
Third, maturity. For some odd reason, Lauren had taken to sleeping on the floor for the past week or so. Debbie and I did not know what to make of this. Just before bed time, she would request a quilt be laid on the floor. Once done, she would hop onto that instead of her toddler bed. It finally struck us that maybe ... just maybe ... the toddler bed was getting to small for her lean, but tall frame. Maybe it was time she graduated to a real big girl bed.
Finally, empathy. Of course, as parents of the 21st century, the new bed would be required to have netting so she wouldn't fall out and bump her head. I'm not sure why ... maybe due to some repressed trauma I had ... All I remember is sleeping on a bunk bed with a slat about 2 inches high to prevent my plummeting 5 feet to the floor. Sure I had dreams of falling a lot, but every morning, I go up off the floor and felt fine! Anyway, it was my job to put the contraption together last night. Things were going along fine as I assembled and Lauren played. Then, I hit a snag. I could not, even with all my strength, get the final security bar in place so I could secure it with a screw. I did everything I could. It just would not get even close to being in position. I may have let out a few choice words which might have possible entered the ear canal of my daughter where it was possible the drum converted those words into maybe a signal to the brain where it could have registered that maybe daddy was getting a little frustrated. Lauren lifted her attention from her castle, looked at me, and said the following:

It's okay daddy. I know you can do it! You're my daddy!

Like the Grinch on the top of Mount Crumpet, I felt a surge of energy akin to a heart growing 3 sizes that day and I FELT THE STRENGTH OF TEN DADDIES .. PLUS TWO. With that strength, I was able to look that bar in the eye and say, "I CAN DO THIS!" And I did. All because my little girl knew daddy needed some words of encouragement.
See, I can't handle this. She's getting so big already. I don't want to even think of the day she says she has a boyfriend. Eric needs to get big fast so I can use him to beat up any potential suitors. At least that way, I can use the plausible deniability defense when his much bigger father comes to investigate.

Do Toddlers Get PMS?

I know there are women who read this blog, some even give comments that make me feel all funny and tingly. So, for those of the fairer gender who are reading this, I must pose a question: How does a 2 year old get PMS?
Lest you think I'm a bit over the top (and what could possibly make you think that?), let me explain what brought this conundrum about. Yesterday, I made the horrible mistake of not letting Lauren put the keys in the car before we headed to day care. This gaffe was so egregious as to cause immense pain and suffering for the entire drive to day care. All 10 minutes of it. Tears, yells, kicks, etc where in plentiful supply. The drama continued up to and past drop off. It was so bad, a drop-and-run technique was employed to break free from the vise like grip she used around my neck.
Let's cut to this morning where I had the foresight to let Lauren place the keys in the car. Yesterday's screaming, crying hellion transformed into a peaceful, quiet, even pleasant little angel. She took off her shoes, gave me a kiss, and went to see her friends. As I left, she yelled "Goodbye Daddy! I wuv you!!!".
I don't know if I will be able to survive the teenage years if this is what the toddler years are like. I'm just envisioning a similar mood swing, but completed in a compact 15 minute timespan. Oh, and several of those a day. If I don't lose my hair by then, I'm going to rip it out.

How Would You Respond?

One thing I miss about not having kids is the ability to go to the bathroom by myself. Now that Lauren is potty training, when she spies me heading to the facilities, she will rush to my side and demand to go with me. I have learned to live with this, but a few days ago Lauren did something that completely caught me off guard. She noticed I was going poo poo. When the "Plop" came, she gave me a big hug and said "Good job daddy! I'm so proud of you!!!!"

"Um .... thanks?"

Operation Tinkle Tinkle Plop Plop

Wow!! That's all I have to say right now. We are smack dab in the middle of Operation Tinkle Tinkle Plop Plop here at the Brown Household. Since returning from vacation, Lauren has used the potty THREE times to go pee pee!!!!!! She's earned 3 of the 10 stars she needs to get the giant Minnie Mouse!! We're just on cloud nine. We've had her sit on the potty for close to 3 months now with nothing. Then BLAM!!! 3 times in 2 days! Woot! Up next is getting the Plop Plop phase of the operation going. She's a little hesitant about that, but hopefully, she'll figure out it's much better than using a diaper.
It's funny ... when Lauren was born I was a little disappointed she would have to wait until she was almost 5 before going to preschool. Now, I'm ecstatic. If we had to have her potty trained before September of this year, I'm not sure we could have done it. With the cut off date though, she'll have a whole year of potty use under her belt before going to school. I think she'll be just fine.

I Must Keep Saying Routines Are Good

It's no wonder I've lost 10 pounds this summer. Once I get home, it's full "entertain and care for Lauren" mode. Today's rundown of activities is pretty typical for a week day evening:

1. Arrive home to Lauren's big smiles and hugs.
2. Once dinner plans are established, Lauren and I put our shoes on and head out. Part of this ritual is Lauren taking a shoe, placing it on her foot, and ask "Is this the right one?". I respond whether it is or not. Then, she grabs the other shoe, places it on the other foot, and repeats the question. As if, there was some third foot this shoe could go, but she's somehow forgotten it.
3. She climbs in the stroller and we go for a walk around the block. It's not long (about 10 minutes) and we have nice conversations about the big/little doggie that happens to be walking by; some toy in a drive way she wants; etc.
4. Once back, we grab her "big bouncy ball" and play a little bit. We kick the ball, chase the ball, bop the ball on her head, hit the ball in the tree. It's thoroughly exhausting.
5. When dinner is ready, we go in wash our hands and eat. Some days are more cooperative than others, but this usually isn't too bad.
6. After dinner, we play some more, this time in the playroom.
7. Then, it's bed time and thus begins another routine. This routine commences with a hug and kiss for both Eric and Mommy. Eric's kiss is on the head, Mommy's is on leg for some inexplicable reason.
8. Once the requisite lovies are distributed, we head upstairs. Now tonight, fortunately, was NOT a bath night, so the routine is a little shorter. We do, however, have a new addition to our nighttime routine: potty time. Lauren gets butt naked and sits on the potty while I encourage her to push the peepee or poopoo out while I read her bedtime stories. So far, no successful potty yet, but we're working on it.
9. When stories are finished (the current favorites are Dr Seuss' Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose and Sneetches and Other Favorite Stories), we get a diaper and pajamas on. Well, Lauren does. I don't wear pajamas *wink wink nudge nudge know whaddi mean*.
10. Now that we're ready for bed, it's time to brush our teeth. Lauren has her own special toothbrush with toddler toothpaste. I have my own toothbrush and we brush, brush, brush our teeth clean.
11. Whew! We're almost done. All that's left are bed time prayers and go to sleep. Seems simple enough. In the past months, I transitioned prayers from my saying them to Lauren echoing what I say. The prayers are shorter and simpler now, but she's getting the idea. The other night, she said a whole prayer by herself without me prompting.
12. So, she's in bed and I'm done for the night, right? Not bloody likely! There are a few bouts of her getting up and talking, I put her back to bed and cover her up, repeat. My favorite time though is right after I put her in the bed. I cover her up and give her a great big hug. She grabs me and says I've got you!. Naturally, I have to respond with On the contrary, I've got YOU!. A spat of kisses on the cheek follows. After about 20 minutes, she's finally in bed for good, if not necessarily asleep.

That's our evening routine. I guess this is a good thing. It takes a while; it's mostly fun; it can be frustrating at times though.

So much to do and yet I do none

As Debbie mentioned, a week from today begins our 2 week jaunt to 4 states. With a 2.5 year old and a 0.25 year old (i just like decimals), we have our work cut out for us. The current division of labor is Debbie sits next to Eric (since she does have the food supply) while I get Lauren and the DVD player. As if I couldn't already recite most of the lines from memory, I get to watch it just a few more times. Huzzah!
Of course, that means a lot of planning and packing. That means, of course, that I'm about to spend my time wisely by going to see The Simpsons Movie all by myself. My company had an employee picnic, so I came home early. I know Debbie has no interest whatsoever in seeing this movie, so I have to find a way to go see it. With Lauren at day care still, this is an ideal opportunity. I will be home earlier than if I had gone to work, so this is a win-win. I should help pack, but there is a movie to see at 4:50, so I need to get going. What a good use of my time!

A Bit of a Control Freak

I hate to admit this, but I think Lauren is a bit of a control freak. She has to manipulate her environment in a way suitable to her tastes. This weekend, we had some friends stay with us, including their 7 year old daughter. Given the gorgeous weather, we thought it would be nice to have the kids put on swimsuits and play in the yard. We recently got a giant ball that sprays water out the sides. Lauren hated it. She wouldn't even get close to it. Well, let me rephrase that. She wouldn't go near the ball after some prick turned off the water to lure her, then turned it back on to spray her. (What kind of prick does that? Honestly? To his own daughter ... oh ... whoops) Next, we pulled out a little pool. Once inflated and filled, she was in heaven. She jumped and whooped and dunked until we had to drag her inside. My only thought is she wanted to control how she got wet and a sprinkling ball just did not suit those needs.

Watching Disaster Unfold

Have you ever been watching something you knew would cause disaster, but didn't want to interfere? I was caught in just such a situation last night. Lauren and I were outside playing with some neighborhood kids when she and a 3 year old girl saw a whiffle ball and bat. First, Lauren grabbed the ball and went to pitch. She actually did quite well and there were no caroms back into the crotch (though it usually is funnier when daddy is the pitcher in that situation). Next, Lauren grabbed the bat. This is where things got interesting. The little girl started her wind up and I immediately knew Lauren would be crying in mere seconds. This kid wound up tighter than a boa constrictor around a mouse. My gut screamed, "STOP HER!". Perhaps I should have, but I was just too intrigued to see what would happen. When she let loose with that whiffle ball, any major league scout with a radar gun would have immediately signed her to a big league contract. And, like any good pitcher who feels the batter is crowding the plate, she nailed Lauren in the chin. Fortunately, no blood or anything ... just crying and some snuggling.
Now, I'm not a heartless beast here. I did take some actions that prevented serious harm. For example, I did make Lauren step back when she decided a better place to bat would be 3 inches from the little girl's face. See? A heartless beast would have wanted to see how much damage batting 3 inches from the pitcher would cause.

Grapes and Watermelons

When you have two children, comparisons are bound to happen whether you want it or not. In that vain, I figured why keep those pesky little comparisons in my head. Why not send those little buggers right out into the world for everyone to nit pick! The one mitigating factor here is parental senility. I'm having a hard time remembering exactly what Lauren was like at 3 months old, but I have some general notations that I think hold.
For starters, Eric gives a lot more smiles. He even laughs! Just look him in the eye and give a little song and he'll respond with a gummy smile to melt even the most hardened heart. The best is when he giggles. He gets all arm-flaily and feet-kickey and gives the most wonderful little giggles. My mother likes to say Lauren is intense, she focuses on one task and does it. Eric is Mr Happy-Go-Lucky. Whereas his sister will say, I want to go to the park NOW; Eric is "Hey dude ... whatever ... it's AAAAALLLL cool".
Next, Eric is ginormous (thanks Websters for letting my use this word legitimately now). Lauren, at 2.5 years old, weighs about 27 lbs. She's always been a tiny little thing. Eric, on the other hand, weighed in today at a hefty 16 lbs 3 ounces and he's only 3 months old! I'm going to have a 1 year old son outweighing his 3 year old sister. Oh well, guess I can use him to intimidate the boyfriends who come calling. Lord knows I won't be very intimidating when her boyfriends (ugh ... what a horrific thought!) have to crouch to see me eye-to-eye.
Lauren hated pacifiers with a passion. Every time we tried one, she would immediately reject this obvious trick and demand whatever it was she originally wanted. Eric not only takes a pacifier now and then, he's started finding his fingers to suck on. More importantly, he recently found his thumb.
I just need to remember that while comparing isn't bad, it's best not to do it too often. Otherwise, you'll refer to your petite daughter as Veruca Salt and your son as Bill S Preston, Esquire. Or, you'll refer to them as a grape and a watermelon. I'm pretty sure therapy is in order if that one is used too much.

What would you like to see at the zoo?

With the gorgeous weather, Debbie and I decided it was not the type of day to stay at home. Going to the park just didn't cut the mustard. Instead, we took a family trip to Brookfield Zoo. To accompany us on this little venture, my parents are in town for the week so they came along as well. On the way there, my mom asks Lauren what she would like to see. Lauren's response: "Dolphins!" My poor mother, thinking Lauren had lost her mind a little bit, seemed shocked. That was until I explained that, yes, Brookfield Zoo does have dolphins. When we got there, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that the Zoo was having a little promotion. All children got a free Independence Bear Beanie baby from Ty. So, while my dad put money in a vending machine to get a soda (not realizing until too late the bottles were $3.75), we headed over to the tent to get the bears. Lauren got to pick the bears for both herself and Eric. They look almost the same, but there are some minute differences. If you want to know what they are, you'll have to come visit us and see :)
Even with spending 5-6 hours at the zoo, Lauren was incredibly well behaved. And, by "well-behaved", I mean she only had about 3 or 4 tantrums. We also signed up as members there, mainly because it was an obvious cheaper way to go. With Eric and Lauren, we knew seeing all of the zoo was just not going to happen. So, why not pay just a little extra and come back for free. As it was, we almost spent what the cost of the membership was, so I think we made a good choice.
On this particular trip, we got to see the bears, some big cats, the dolphins, pinnipeds, pachyderms, and camels. Ok ... now you can go and google pinnipeds. I'll wait.

You back? Good. I know what you're thinking. How could you not see the monkeys?!?!?! I wish I could say. That's just one of the drawbacks of having a 2 month old who insists on eating every few hours. On the way to the zoo, we had a talk and I tried to tell him he needed to go 6 hours without eating. I guess my lecture just fell on deaf ears. Cute, little, deaf ears, but deaf ears none-the-less. Lauren loved the dolphin show, but I think she really enjoyed them before the show started. That's when the dolphins are just roaming the pool and would occasionally do a jump or two. The squeals of delight were a treasure. She didn't squeal much when the show started, but it did captivate her. My favorite part of the trip was when we heard the lion roar. This was just as we were about to leave. Eric was getting his last feeding before heading home. There was this great area where Debbie could sit on a bench, shaded by trees, about 20 feet from the main walk. While not private, it did feel secluded enough to be comfortable. So, we're sitting there and Lauren is spinning this "Wheel of Survival" thing the zoo has, when we hear this enormous barking like sound. Lauren and I rush over to see the lion giving the ole vocal chords a workout. It was quite a sight, and Lauren squealed each time he let loose with a roar.
Overall, it was a great day (though my knees and back might beg to differ) The weather was really great with a light breeze making for a very comfortable time. Now, we just have to figure out when to go back so we can get our money's worth. Oh, and maybe we'll get Lauren to stop by the Sting Ray Bay and get her to put a sting ray. Wouldn't that be neat!

More useless information crammed in my noggin

Ooooooooooooooooooooh, let's name the zones, the zones, the zones. Let's name the zones of the open sea. Theeeeeeeeere's epipelagic, mesopolagic, bathyal, abyssalpelagic. All the rest are too deep for you and me to see.

This has been my weekend. For those of you unfamiliar with the quote, it's the song Mr. Ray first sings in Finding Nemo (one of Lauren's favorite movies). Now, I don't mean we watched FN (Our subtle way of mentioning the movie title without Lauren going into full pleading mode). As I am wont to do around the house, I will occasionally distract the kids with singing. One day, I tried out this little gem because I thought Lauren would enjoy the long monosyllabic intro. Much to my chagrin, she loved it soooo much, she demanded and encore ... and an encore ... and an encore ... and an encore. I will state that the second sentence of this song required some googling to figure out, but my first pass was surprisingly close with a simple phonetic recall of what was sung. Anyway, I now know the 5 zones of the open sea. Jepoardy!, here I come!.

Happy Cookie!

Father's Day was pretty nice around here. We spent a lot of time playing outside in the heat, but Lauren adored it. She was on pretty good behavior too. The highlight of the day came after a put some air in a tire that had gone flat. When I walked into the house, Lauren runs up and yells "Happy Cookie Daddy!". I was a little confused as to the greeting, but joyfully accepted the smile and hug. She then ran into the playroom where Mommy and Eric were. Mommy whispered a little something, then Lauren turned around and said "Happy Father's Day!". I was very proud. She then helped me open some presents (a Cold Stone GC and dark chocolate). I was delighted and got up to give Debbie a hug and kiss when Lauren grabbed my hand and started dragging me into the kitchen. When I spied the kitchen table, everything made sense. Pointing to the kitchen table, gleefully shouting "Happy Cookie Daddy! Happy Cookie!", Lauren introduced me to a giant chocolate chip cookie with icing.

Happy Cookie Indeed!

The Angel and the Hellion

As the title suggests, there is a bit of a conundrum occurring in our household. The one child is an absolute joy. The child listens and smiles lots; is generally just very pleasant to be around. The other child screams, hits, throws, and has tantrums to rival any minor league baseball manager. The main problem we're having is it's the same child.
I imagine around this time, every parent realizes their dear little angel is actually a slight schizophrenic. This weekend could not be a more perfect example. On Saturday, Lauren woke up and had to think to herself: "Today, I think I'm a hellion". Fortunately, we had no real plans, but she just refused to cooperate on anything. She lost watching Dora in the morning because she kept running off when I was trying to dress her. She lost going to the big park because she ran away from me at our favorite breakfast restaurant when I let her come with me to pay the bill. We had at least 3 separate time outs, but I'm pretty sure we could have just sat her in the chair and told her to stay there all day. We tried church too, but she was barely tolerable even there. What really got our ire up though was when I realized I could not find her pajama top anywhere. Debbie and I both realized that if it wasn't visible and it wasn't in any of the drawers, there was one logical place left: The Diaper Champ! Opening the Chamber of Doo-Doo revealed she was having more fun with it than we thought. Not only was the pajama top in there, but so was a dragon, queen, 3 fences, bed, table, king, and other items associated with her castle.
Then, Sunday arrived. She woke up happy, congenial, willing to help, and generally cooperative all around. She was good enough to go to the big park (there's a little one around the corner, but the big one has more slides and more kids which we thought she would enjoy). She was happy during quiet time (as far as I know, no other items other than the cotton stink bombs have gone down the gullet of the Ca-Ca Chomper). What a great day!
I'd like to order more of Angel Lauren, but I have a feeling Hellion Lauren has a lot more of appearances to make. And ... yes ... I did enjoy coming up with the Diaper Champ monikers.

Things I Learned

There are a few things I have learned from my recent bout with pneumonia:

1. I can never grow a beard. The main reason being I would quickly earn the nickname: Neck Beard. Not a real good nickname.

2. I have not had caffeine since Saturday (and that was 1 fricking can of coke!!!). I didn't realize until later that the splitting headache I had on Sunday was not due to being sick, but caffeine withdrawal. That said, I need my Iced Tea. I can't stand drinking water to the extent I have had to drink it the past few days. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hop back onto the caffeine bandwagon, but only because my taste buds require it.

3. Lauren has an incredible immune system. Last night, we were a little concerned as she had a cough and a fever of 101.3. We were sure a trip to the pediatrician was imminent the next morning. When morning arrived, Lauren was up, happy as a lark, cough and fever free. Wish I had an immune system like that.

4. It is really, really hard trying to not touch or interact with your children for any period of time, let alone 3 full days. As of today, I'm non-contagious so I can play with them a bit more. I just need to get my energy back up so I can withstand the ball of energy that is my daughter.

New Friends

Lauren got to make some new friends today. In no particular order, she met:

• Mr. Thirsty
• Mr. Sunshine
• Mr. Tooth Tickler
• Mr. Tooth Counter
• Miss Angie
• Dr. Niles

Confused? Today was Lauren's first trip ever to the Dentist! Mr. Thirsty is the suction thingie; Mr. Sunshine is that big spotlight; Mr. Tooth Tickler is the brush they use at the end of the cleaning; Mr. Tooth Counter was the little scrapey thing; Miss Angie is the hygienist; and the Dr. Niles is self-explanatory. We had been prepping her for the past week that this day was coming. We practiced big smiles and opening wide and making sure brushing our teeth before bed was part of the night time ritual. All of that paid of incredibly well today. Lauren was full of smiles and opening wides and, in general, was very cooperative with both the hygienist and the dentist. On top of being so cooperative, they were very pleased with how Lauren's teeth looked. Even her chipped tooth looked good.
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow because I get to unveil a brand new toy for Lauren: a Power Wheels Corvette! My friend, Tony, gave me a little while ago, but the battery didn't arrive until today. So, if you are in our area, watch out for a good looking blond cruising around the neighborhood in a corvette with the top down. I'm guessing she's going to go until all 6 volts of that bad boy are drained.

Nice Try, Sweetie

If there was any doubt about how much Lauren had accepted Eric, she put those to rest a few days ago. Eric was crying, as 2 week old babies tend to do. Lauren obviously felt mommy was being worked too much, so she thought she would pitch in. She climbed on the couch, grabbed mommy's boppy pillow and placed it around her waist. She then lifted her shirt and said, "Come here, Eric". I laughed, Debbie cried a little (those happy tears she gets on occasion, not the sad tears). All I could think was, "Nice try, sweetie. Daddy would do the same thing, but Eric wouldn't like getting hair in his mouth."

Transitions

I'm sure you all are wondering how Big Sister Lauren is dealing with this new intrusion into her life. The phrase that best sums up our current situation is: "So far, so good". She has been truly loving towards Eric and has shown a desire to help in many different ways. When we go to change his diaper, she comes along and helps by handing us stuff. When he starts crying, she looks at mommy and says "I think he's hungry" (aka "Get off your butt and feed him so he'll shut up"). She gives him kisses and pats his head very gently. We just couldn't be happier and she seems to be enjoying the new addition too. I'm pretty sure having Grandma and Grandpa here has helped. I've also made sure to spend a lot of time with Lauren, particularly today when the temperatures rose about 70. We had lots of outside time. So, she's being good about Eric for now. We'll see if this continues, but I'm glad we got this time of peace and quiet.

I have reached a conclusion

It hasn't taken long. One week to be precise for me to reach a conclusion. As far as babies go, girls are easier. Never once when changing Lauren's diaper did I have to worry about whether she had "unfinished business" or not. With Eric, it's an almost certainty. I had to run out and buy 16 washcloths for the express purpose of containing said business from removing the paint from the wall. Then, today he hits me with a double ... no ... triple whammy. It was my turn to change Eric's diaper and I was ready. I opened his diaper and placed a washcloth over him to catch any remaining action. None came, so I went about finishing the diaper change. Just as I was about to close and lock the hatch, he let loose with a stream, hitting his face and onesie. As I start cleaning up, I hear the unmistakable sound of poop flying out his backside. Not normally a problem, unless one hasn't had the chance to reinstall the diaper. The changing pad did not survive the encounter. While dealing with this little debacle, Eric decides the first round wasn't enough, so he let loose with another stream. I don't think I ever had to deal with that when changing Lauren. Like I said, baby girls are easier.

No Good Choice

Soon, I will bring you the story of Eric's birth, but tonight, I want to talk about my choices and how every one of them sucked. On the surface, the choice seemed obvious at the time. I thought I could garner a decent evening by keeping everyone as happy as possible. Alas, that was not to be.
Lauren was in a bit of a cranky mood so I had already decided taking her to the hospital would not be a good idea. She had already said no and her listening skills were diminishing rapidly. My In-laws were going out to eat and, having decided to go, I felt Lauren's behavior would make dining out an absolute nightmare. I told my in-laws to go have a nice dinner, I would stay home with Lauren and their dog, Sable.
My second choice was how to handle Sable. I could put him in his crate, where I knew he would whine and cry and make a general ruckus, thus causing my night to suck. I could also let him roam free, where I knew he would pace a lot, but that would be it.
See? Choice seems pretty obvious, doesn't it? I chose to stay home with Lauren and let Sable roam around the house. Five minutes after my in-laws left, I hear Lauren ask "What's that" and see some rather nasty looking things at her feet. I then realized Sable was not pacing around the house. He had decided to express his displeasure with the situation by pooping on the rug. Lauren, not realizing it was there, then walked right through it. All while I'm cooking dinner. I quickly grab Lauren out of the mess and take off her socks. I then put Sable in his crate and proceed to clean up the mess as best I can.
I was made about this until I realized what choices I had:

1. Take Lauren to dinner with my in-laws and have a horrid time as she squirms and squeals and generally makes a nuisance of herself.
   
2. Stay home with Lauren and keep Sable in the crate where he would whine and cry and yelp all night (causing Lauren great consternation) and making a nuisance of himself.
   
3. Stay home with Lauren and let Sable roam the house where he would poop on the carpet, but then willingly and quietly accept being in the crate the rest of the time.

Given those choices, I still like number 3 the best. Even though it sucked, my guess is it was the least sucky of all the choices.

Now What Do I Do?

I've worked out what I think is a pretty nice morning routine. She gets up; I get her milk; I retrieve her from her bedroom and bring her to my bedroom; place her in the playpen; turn on the TV; and then I'm free to get ready for the day. For 870 days, this routine has suited me just fine ... until today.
Sometimes during this morning routine, Lauren is not thrilled with the show Disney channel offers. The usual culprit is Handy Manny. She is okay with the show, but it does not receive the complete undevoted attention that a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse does. Apparently, she reached her threshold of Handy Manny while I was in the bathtub. Sometime during toweling off, I hear the sound of fabric rubbing together and a *thump*. An odd sound to be sure, but I thought nothing of it. Then, Lauren walked into the bathroom and said "Hi Daddy!".
That last sentence may not seem that bad but I refer you to our morning routine. When I started this bath, she was in a playpen happily watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. When I ended this bath, she was wandering around on her own. Great! She climbed out of the playpen. And she did it with such skill so as to not hurt herself. What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to trap her now? Guess I'm to turning the playpen upside down and putting a few bricks on top.

Who gets burned in March?

What a day!!!!! First, we introduced Lauren to her brand new big girl room. Her reaction was priceless:

Oh ... it's beautiful

I never expected that great a reaction. Of course, the big test is how she handles sleeping in the new room over the next few days. I don't really consider tonight a valid test because of what else we did.
How could we not take advantage of the weather today? It was sunny and 78 with a nice breeze. The neighborhood was filled with kids running around and adults chatting it up, so we had to join in. Lauren had an absolute blast. We played with basketballs and baseballs, rode her new bike, and had fun playing with the other kids. She also drove one of those electric jeeps around. She had seen them before, but was never brave enough to try it out. Today, she got brave enough to sit in one. From there, it didn't take her long to slide into the driver's seat and go for a spin. Her smiles could not have been bigger. She just loved every minute of it. Guess I need to go find one of these bad boys for her this year.
There is just one problem. Living in Chicago, my skin has not seen hide nor hair of the sun for about 5 months. Immediately subjecting my skin to several hours of baking sun has produced this nice glow ... a nice red glow but a glow nonetheless. I never thought I would get a sun burn in March. My only hope is, when I go to work tomorrow, I am just one of many to have spent a little too much time enjoying the new found sun.

An Honest to God Conversation

As a parent, you know your child is maturing. You see it everyday. Little things they couldn't do before they suddenly can do now. As babies, the leaps involve movements: sitting up, grabbing things, crawling, walking, etc. As toddlers, the leaps are more subtle and completely take you by surprise. Now that I'm back at work (a thoroughly depressing subject I may address later), I am back to my routine of calling Debbie as I leave for home. When we last left, Lauren would want to talk to me on the phone, but this usually consisted of her listening to my blabbering like an idiot and then hand the phone back to mommy.
Last night, I made the requisite phone call and Lauren, as she usually does, asked for the phone. This time, perhaps deciding she had had enough of my gibberish, she actually talked to me. Not just words talking, but full sentences that also match the context of the conversation. She tells me a little about her day; how she went to the park, played outside, sang songs, and is now playing with mommy.
Great! It's only 7 more years until she's calling her friends and talking about shopping and fashion and school and ... ugh ... boys. I am so not ready for this.

We Do What We Must

I have an answer for you Heather. Apparently, warm water does loosen the rectum making a child go poop.
Yesterday, Lauren was obviously fighting the urge to go poop. Some quick remembering had us realize the last time she did go poop was the bathtub incident. So that was 4 days of holding it in, creating quite a backlog (as it were). Worrying it might be something serious, we called the doctor to get some advice. She mentioned that the bathtub might do the trick, so we decided to give it another try. We were smarter this time though and got a Country Crock tub to catch what came out. Sure enough, seconds after sitting in the water, she screamed and started crossing her legs. We knew the warm water was doing its job on her, so we grabbed the tub and caught another significant log.
Parenting involves making sacrifices like we did yesterday. Sure the butter is going to taste funny for a little while, but we had to do what we had to do.

What a Choice

Being a parent means making choices. Sometimes, the choices given you are not good ones. Today, Debbie and I had to face one of these types of choices. I have previously highlighted some of the bowel issues we've been having with Lauren. She does everything she possibly can to hold it in. Tonight was bath night and, just as we started, Lauren let out the unmistakable wail of Lauren needing to go poop, but refusing to do so. That left us with 2 options: let Lauren scream and continue her non-pooping ways or let her poop in the tub. What a choice!
By the way, we overcame the initial feelings and did the right thing. She needed to poop and we pried her legs open. As soon as we did, 3 ginormous logs that would have hurt me plopped out. We moved her to the other bathroom and finished the bath. Afterwards, it was Scrubbing Bubbles time. No wonder parents are hard to gross out. By the time the kids are old enough to try this stuff, we've seen far too much for their little minds to comprehend.

The Eagle Has Landed

Today brought 2 unexpected events. The first is Lauren actually went to sleep during Quiet Time™, which is quite the rarity. The second happened about 45 minutes into QT ... POOP!!!!! After a few days, she finally pushed out the giant log that had formed. Hopefully, this will be the start of a few good days.

Just poop already

I'm really at my wits end on this one. We are in the potty training stage and things are not going well. First, the good news: Lauren has no problem sitting on the toilet. In fact, she loves to sit on the toilet and read her books. The bad news: She has yet, after a month plus of sitting on the potty, to actually go potty. No pee pee, no poo poo, nothing, nada, zilch. The worse news: She refuses to go poo poo at all. We thought we had this under control by offering M&M's every time she went poo poo. Apparently not. She has reverted to crossing her legs, holding it in, and crying. Our pediatrician suggested we stop trying potty training. We tried, but she insists on going into the bathroom.
The event that brought me to my wits end happened tonight. She's sitting on the potty because she asked to sit on the potty. While sitting on the potty, she began to cry because the urge to go poo poo was hitting. What happened? She managed to hold it in and steadfastly refused to go poo poo. *sigh* Just poop already!!!!

She's a toughee

From my previous post, you may gather that Lauren and I spent some time playing outside in the snow. We had a lot of fun, but what struck me most was how tough she is. The snow suit she had on came with some small mittens attached. Unfortunately, they were a bit too small and she had a hard time keeping them on. She gave no indication of having issues though and even picked up snow with her bare hands. When I finally convinced her to come inside, it was then I saw her poor little hands were beet red. I was duly impressed with the toughness she has to not even care how cold her hands are. I always knew she was tougher than her mommy because Lauren would actually walk around the house in bare feet ... in winter! But to play that long in the snow without mittens? Well, I'm seeing lots of fun wintertime activities in our future.

Theater of the Mind

I'd like to present a little Theater of the Mind:

Time: This morning
Place: Lauren's bedroom

With the obvious sounds of an alert toddler emanating from the nursery, I arose from my slumber and approached the door, prepared to begin our morning ritual. As the door creaked open, I realized this morning would be different from the others. Normally, she sits in her bed in her footy pajamas waiting for me. I spied mu little girl in the middle of the room, reading a book. Her outfit was white Easter-ish sandals, diapers, and a white floppy hat ala Gilligan. At least she coordinated her colors.

Perspective

It's been cold. We all know that. Our shivering, huddled bodies have recognized that the temps are slightly less than we would like. On the plus side, we have experience. We've seen this kind of thing before and know how to handle it. This was brought to my attention when, on Monday, Lauren stepped out of the garage and had this to say about the weather:

"My eyes hurt!"

I could not think of a better way to describe the current conditions. Bravo Lauren! Bravo!

Pics Galore

Is the snow making you dread the idea of working? Wish you had something to help you pass the time? How about spending the rest of your afternoon looking at pictures? If that sounds like fun, then today is your day!! I have albums galore for you to enjoy dating all the way back to November. Just follow the links below:

Lauren's 2nd Birthday Party
Pics of Lauren November 2006
Pics of Lauren December 2006
Thanksgiving in Baltimore
Christmas in Detroit

You can blame me when your boss asks why you had zero productivity today.

The Disciplinarian

This weekend, Lauren fought her naps something fierce. After moving her from the bed to the crib and then moving the crib to then moving the crib away from the wall to avoid any home improvements, she still would not go to sleep. Hearing the obvious sounds of my precious little one doing jumping jacks on the mattress, I knew I had to nip this in the bud. I made my way to just outside her door and waited to hear the jumping jacks renew. She complied and I burst in to let her know my displeasure. I had to be the disciplinarian here and I was ready to fulfill that task. I was going to be stern and mean, no cracking smiles, no light hearted humor to get her to smile. She was in trouble and I was going to let her know it. Things were going well right up until she made this face: Head down, eyes looking at me, with a little pout showing. Every woman out there will probably recognize this as the Daddy kiss-of-death look. In the middle of a chastisement, I felt the smile coming. It could not be stopped. The only thing to do was the following:

I'm so mad right now I can't even look at you!
<slowly turn around, commence quiet laughing, wait for humor to subside and look back>
Do you understand what you did is wrong?

Parenting ... it's okay to find things your children do funny, just don't let them see that.

Infuriating

There were noises coming from the nursery to clue me into the fact something was going on. I simply ignored them. So, I got quite a shock when I went to get Lauren and saw her like this:
 
Now, my initial reaction was shock and anger, but that cute little smile disarmed the feeling almost immediately. That and, when she saw me, Lauren held up a rather large piece of wallpaper like a cat holds up a prized bird and said in her proudest voice: "Daddy ... RIP!!!". All I could do was smile and say "Yes dear, you ripped *sigh*". Good thing we were planning on changing the wallpaper border anyway, otherwise this would be extremely infuriating.

Big Day Planned

With Debbie abondoning Lauren and I tomorrow for work, I am trying to figure out what to do. By our lonesome, we are going to go shoe shopping. Lauren's shoes are getting smaller by the minute and it's time we get her a new pair. Not really wanting to just sit around the house, I figured I am up to the challenge of finding a good pair of shoes for a 2 year old. Hopefully, my sanity will remain intact for that portion because I also thought tomorrow would be a good day to redeem a Build-A-Bear gift certificate Lauren got for her birthday. So, it should be a fun day, if a little exhausting. I can't imagine how this would work with 2 in tow!

What becomes of a good mind

This morning, I was surprised by how long Lauren slept. 8:45. That's the time of her first stir this morning. Normally, one would think this is a wonderful gift. Who wouldn't want to sleep a little later, especially when the previous night was spent playing cards with the neighbors until 1? However, something has happened to my mind after becoming a parent; something that has rendered the supposed gift a source of incredible angst. You see, my mind finally realized that at 8 o'clock I had heard absolutely no sounds coming through the baby monitor. A mild sense of discomfort washed over me. Did she sneak out of her room? Of course, this thought leads to an even more disturbing thought: Did she sneak out and fall down the stairs and is now unconscious on the landing? So, instead of enjoying this extra sleep, I am now lying awake in bed wondering what horrific injury might have befallen my little girl. I now have to get up to check the door. Relieved to see it still shut, I return to bed to try to enjoy this unexpected respite.
After still hearing nothing by 8:15, my imagination began to concoct fantastic scenarios to explain this silence. Maybe someone snuck into the house and took her. Maybe a flying monkey swooped in through the window to kidnap her. So now, the thought occurs that I need to go into the room to see if she is still there. Then my mind comes to its senses, realizing that if she is sleeping, going into the room would surely put an end to that. But ... what about the flying monkeys? How can I be sure she is still in there? In the end, I decide I have to just let my imagination run wild until I get audible confirmation she is still in there.
Instead of enjoying a long, restful sleep, my stupid imagination had to go off and freak me out, forcing me to lie awake and hope for any sign of life from the nursery. *sigh* What hath parenthood wrought upon my once beautiful mind?

The Spirit of Giving

I found that, in this time of giving and generosity, it would be quite appropriate that Lauren would decide to learn the phrase "I want that!". Fortunately, the objects of her desire are things we already own, but I fear the next trip to Toys R Us. I can see it now: Walking down the aisle, we come across a fully articulated baby doll with actual pooping, peeing, burping, and crying action all for the low, low price of $79. My little angel looks at me with her soft blue eyes, bats her eye lashes a few times, gives me a cute smile, points, and says "I want that!". I ask you, dear reader, how am I supposed to say no after that?!?! God forbid we ever run across a pony for sale.

I'm not ready for this

Read any parenting book and they will warn you not to overwhelm the child with too many new things. I thought this was because the child would rebel after all the change. Turns out I was wrong. As you all know, we moved Lauren to a toddler bed this past week. This transition has gone smoother than my wildest imagination could ever fathom. Even with the babysitter on Thursday, Lauren had no problems staying in the bed until morning.
Tonight brought something for which I was totally unprepared. We went shopping and thus ate dinner at a restaurant. We went to Noodles & Company because we both wanted something light and quick and it fits the bill pretty well. When Debbie started to put Lauren in the high chair, Lauren gave a fit. Knowing this is not really Lauren's M.O., Debbie came up with a reason for the fuss. Lauren decided she had no interest in using the high chair any more and wanted the booster seat. This meant Lauren was now at two major routine changes in the course of 5 days. Here's the rub: She has adjusted, once again, beautifully. I, however, was caught totally unprepared for this second change and am feeling a little overwhlemed. I can't believe she's big enough to use a booster seat at a restaurant! When the hell did this happen?
Here's what is really getting to me though. Lauren is itching to do potty training too. I have no idea how long we can hold off starting this one, but that would be three major routine changes in about 1 month. I'm convinced Lauren would have no problem starting potty training tomorrow. Daddy is a completely different story.

Little girl is growing up

Lauren slept in the toddler bed like she slept in the crib. There were no mumblings or rumblings all night. To make sure Lauren behaved herself after waking up, I made sure to be up before hand. Once up, Lauren was very good. She babbled a bit and played with her stuffed animals. Around the time I heard a a drawer being opened, I figured it was time to check what the little rugrat was up to. Walking in, I found Lauren had pulled out a pair of pajamas to replace the ones she was already wearing. Other than that though, she did great!
Bedtime tonight went even better. I spent less than 20 minutes in her bedroom with no problems. One extra hug was all that was needed to calm her. I just cannot believe how well this is going. At some point, we're going to run into problems with this new bed. For now, I'm just enjoying this smooth sailing!!

My God, what have we done?

I'm scared ... really really scared!!! Tonight, Debbie and I decided it was time. Lauren has been sleeping in cots at daycare for some time now and we need to move her out of the crib soon. We've had a toddler bed for a few months and tonight was the night for Lauren to use it. I didn't really know what to expect. I figured it might be exciting at first, but my hunch was we would have to move her back to the crib for the next few nights. If that happened, we still felt it good to expose her to the toddler bed so she could get used to the idea of not sleeping in the crib. About all I can say now is the transition went better than I could have possibly hoped for.
When we pulled the bed out of the back bedroom, Lauren was very intrigued. She had seen it before and we told her it was a bed, but without a mattress, I don't think it was all that interesting to her. After I moved her mattress from the crib to the bed, Lauren took to it like a fish to water. She got this huge smile and jumped right onto the bed. Thus began our first lesson of sleeping in a bed: Do not jump up and down on the bed. After we finished our bed time routine of story, milk, and brushing of the teeth, it was time to see how well she would use this new contraption. Knowing her propensity for an "active" bed time, I stayed in the room to keep an eye on her. I then gave her the second rule of sleeping in a bed: If you get out of bed, you sleep in the crib. This seemed to work for about 20 minutes. She didn't stay still (sitting up, talking to me, playing with her stuffed animals), but she stayed on the bed. Then it happened, she hoped off the bed and started walking around the room. As I approached her, she ran back to the bed and laid down again. I began clearing things off so I could move the mattress back to the crib (we only have the one), which caused her to fuss.
I don't know if I wussed out here or sent mixed signals. She seemed to understand what I was doing and she didn't like it. She knew what she did to cause it and expressed remorse for it. My gut said to give the bed one more try. I placed everything back on the bed, she climbed in, covered up, and seemed to stay still. After another 10 minutes, I felt good enough to leave the room. I explained to her she was not to get out of the bed, but when morning came, she could call for me and I would get her. At this point I kissed her for the 30th time that night and left the room. I kept the door open only slightly just to see if she would stay. And I stood by that door for another 15 minutes (actually, I was standing in our bedroom watching TV, but I could see the door). I am still shocked at this, but she stayed in her bed. She talked for a little bit and let out those little cries she makes when falling asleep, but she did not leave her bed.
Now, we wait til morning. I've installed a chain on her door so she cannot open it on her own. Despite her tiny hands, Lauren is very good at opening doors and we felt this was the only way to keep her in her bedroom. All I have to do now is wake up at an ungodly hour tomorrow to make sure I am up before her. Prior to this, I would spend about 10-20 minutes in bed after she woke me up while she talked and did her little crib thing. For the next few weeks, I need to make sure I'm up before her to see what she will do during this time. I'll let you know how it goes.

Spasmodic Monkey Strikes Again

This morning, I thought I would try to give Lauren some cheer by dancing to some songs on the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Seconds after I started, she gave me a very perplexed look and stated emphatically "STOP!". She even did the palm facing me hand motion in case her statement was not clear enough. This next part was not verbalized, but I'm pretty sure it's what she was thinking:

"Look Whitey McWhiteWhite, knock it off because you have all the rhythm of a spasmodic monkey. Let's forget this little incident happened, but don't ever try to do that again lest I be forced to kill you for the embarrassment caused!"

I love you too sweetie!

Party like its 2006!

What a weekend! On Saturday, we had Lauren's birthday party. Let's start with party preparation.
Unlike last year, Debbie and I were not nearly as prepared. I don't know what it was, but this birthday seemed to sneak up on us a bit more than usual. As late was Wednesday, we had yet to order the food or the cake. Can you imagine? Three days before the party and Mrs. Planner had yet to order these things!! (What ... you expect ME to do the planning? pbbt!) Fortunately, we knew what we wanted to by Thursday, 10 am, everything was ordered ... or so we thought.
Come Saturday morning, it was time to go pick up everything. Balloon and cake pickup went without a hitch (except I forgot to pick up the ice, but I blame Debbie for that ... I have yet to create a reason why, but I'm pretty certain she is at fault). Picking up the sandwiches provided some pre-party excitement. After announcing you are there to pick up a catering order, the last thing you want to see is a blank stare and a horrified look, followed by the question "When did you place the order?". As it turns out, they did not have the order and there were no platters waiting for me. This is why we schedule a pick up for 2 hours before the party. It allows enough time to correct a mistake like this one. In fact, they were able to produce 2 complete sandwich platters per my request in 15 minutes. Crisis averted.
Despite a little pre-party meltdown over balloons, Lauren was a gem the whole day. She took a little bit warming up to her cousins again, but once the play time began, she had a ball. For those who have not been to a child's birthday party, there is one important fact to know. There will be one present that brings the present opening to a screeching halt. It is the one toy that captures the attention of every child there and makes them want to have it opened immediately. That present this year was a tumbling Tigger. One squeeze of this orange ball of energy's nose would send it somersaulting down the rug all to a MC Hammer like tune. The best part was when the kids had moved on to other things, the adults all stood around this contraption marvelling at his mechanized acrobatic feats.
Everything else went pretty smoothly. Lauren was pleasant and cooperative opening the presents (except when she couldn't find her cookie). Everyone seemed to enjoy the food and there seemed to be enough for everyone without too much to create leftovers for a week.
That was a lot of writing just for Saturday so I'm going to end this post here. I'll talk about Sunday in the near future (hopefully tomorrow, but I'm not promising anything).