The Good, The Bad, The Sobbing

Even though Lauren's first day of preschool was short, it went fairly well. She was shy most of the time, but did play a bit and even managed to talk to a few of the other kids. This evening, she even told mommy she wanted to go back to the school.

The bad was on the way back to daycare. I made the mistake of saying when she got back, it would be lunch time and, probably, a nap. She immediately realized that outside play time had passed and she wasn't there for it. That started a host of issues. She began to cry, which makes her clingy, which forced me to carry her downstairs at daycare. That then caused Eric to catch a glimpse of me, so I had to hold him for a little while. So, she's crying, he's crying, and the daycare provider is doing their best to help me. In the end, I just handed Eric off and ran out.

Hopefully, this transition will get better in time. I just need to remember to keep my big mouth shut.

Going Insane

Waiting for one thing is nerve wracking enough. Waiting for two will drive me downright batty. Today is Lauren's first day of pre-school. It's a really short day to serve as a Meet & Greet. Class starts at 10:30. It's no 9:40. I want to leave now, but that sets the arrival time about 30 minutes too soon. Don't want to look like a freak the first day. I really need to save that for the 2nd day.

Also, we recently ordered a new camera to replace our now dead-as-a-doornail Canon A80. The package requires someone to sign for it. UPS tried to deliver it yesterday but no one was home. If they come in the next 20 minutes, we'll be here to sign for it. We do have a backup plan (disposable cameras were on sale for $2 at Meijer), but it would be nice to make the first pictures on the new camera Lauren's 1st day of school.

Guh! This wait is killing me.

A Close One Averted

Tragedy almost struck early in this trip. While driving to Ocean City, Debbie came to the horrific realization that our camera had gone to the great pixel screen in the sky. The LCD on our Canon had been acting up, but we were always able to take pictures. This time, though, we couldn't even take pictures. Debbie was inconsolable. This great family time would not have any photos to remember. Plans were made to run to Walmart to get a new one when my mom made an astounding announcement. My parents, the people who recently developed a roll of film that took it's first picture at Christmas 1997, recently bought a new digital camera. Not only that, but they actually remembered to bring it with them! Our trip was saved. And thanks to that good news, Debbie was able to take a video of Lauren's very first wipe out in the ocean. [Quicktime needed to see video]

The Myth Maker

I have discovered the answer to an archeological mystery that has stymied experts for centuries. How did the Greek mythologies get their start? Who was the first to tell of these stories? I have that answer my friends. All of Greek mythology was created by a parent of a 3 year old just to stop that infernal question "Why?".
I have now joined that great tradition of myth making in an effort to get my 3 year old to stop asking why. Honestly, how do you answer "Why is it raining?" Any scientifically accurate answer I could muster would almost immediately result in another why question. "Why does water evaporate?" "Why does water condense". Quite frankly, Lauren needs to be at least 5 years old if I'm going to lecture her in climatology (accreditation pending). So, I came up with this: "It's raining because the clouds are sad. Their friend, the sun, has left, so they're crying". Huzzah! That stopped the why questions! Of course, every time it rains now, Lauren has to repeat my newly created myth, but I can deal with that.

Growing up too fast

It is amazing how fast the kids grow up.
In a matter of a few months, Eric went from crawling to running; gummy smile to 10 teeth; eating baby food to demanding my steaks for dinner. He also apparently suffers from PMS. I have no idea how this happens to a 15 month old boy, but it has. He can throw the most extraordinary fits imaginable. These fits usually include flinging his head into something hard. If you're lucky, it's an inanimate object instead of something animate ... like my cheek. What makes this PMS though is not the fit itself, but that in the middle of these fits, he laughs. This weekend, he was laying on the floor screaming like a banshee. As a concerned and caring father, I decided to pretend I was going to step on him. He found this hysterical. Each time I planted my foot on his stomach, he giggled and laughed and guffawed. Each time I removed my foot, he immediately resumed the tirade. No transition. No start up phase. It was Full Laugh - Full Scream - Full Laugh - Full Scream and so on. and I thought Lauren was moody!
Instead of throwing a fit, Lauren almost caused me to throw a fit. This morning, we cuddled on the couch and watch the Weather Channel. It was a great moment that I cherished, because earlier this morning, she did something that was a little too ... adult. Walking from Eric's room to ours, she tripped, got up and exclaimed "Awwww ... DAMMIT!" I froze in my tracks. I didn't know what to say. This was the first cuss word she's ever uttered. I wanted to chastise her, but I also wanted to compliment her on using it correctly. I mean, if one were to exclaim "Awww ... DAMMIT", that would be the time. I did gather my composure and explain that she used a bad word and she shouldn't speak like that. As with any parent, I then did a search of my mental data bank. I was worried that somehow I had taught her this exclamation and was going to pay the price when Debbie found out. I couldn't remember saying this around the kids, so I thought I was safe. Searching for a source, I mentioned the incident to Lauren's daycare provider. Her face said it all. One of the kids at daycare had said this phrase earlier. Phew! No retribution for me. I could safely tell debbie about the incident and not have my beating heart ripped out of my chest and, still beating, displayed for my horror. Now, that still might happen for Debbie's amusement, but at least it wouldn't be for a good reason ... well ... at least not THAT reason. There's reasons a plenty other than that, but I at least I wasn't guilty of teaching our daughter to curse.

Well, not yet anyway.

It was nice quality time, til it wasn't

Lauren has a little bout of pneumonia right now, so she and daddy had a day home together yesterday and today. I worked from home, but we managed to fit in some quality time.
Yesterday was lunch at the Cow and Ice Cream Restaurant (aka Colonial Cafe). I think I have found the perfect dessert buddy. Better even than Misss You Can Have the Ice Cream on the Molten Chocolate Cake. We topped off our lunch with a PBF Chipper replacing the peanut butter cup on top with mini M&M's. The sundae stands about 7 inches tall and Lauren, bless her heart, limits her entire experience to the layer of whipped cream and M&M's on the top. How great a dessert buddy is she? As I worked my way through the chocolate and chocolate chip ice cream with hot fundge and peanut butter sauce, Lauren opined

You can have the yucky stuff, daddy

Not only does she let me eat the good stuff, she thinks I'm a hero for doing it!!
Today, I asked if she wanted to go anywhere for lunch.

The CASTLE RESTAURANT!!!

Ah yes. The Castle Restaurant (known as the Village Squire to you and me Gus). On the way there, she realized what awaited.

Daddy, at the castle restaurant, they have POPCORN!!!!

Indeed they do have popcorn. And it is tasty.
With all this quality time, Lauren must have figured she was long overdue on making daddy look like an idiot. We had one more stop before heading home to get some supplies to fix a sink. Off to the hardware store we went. As we get out of the car, Lauren decides it's much too warm for jackets so she takes her off and asks me to do the same. I had to agree (it was pretty warm), so I took off our coats, put them in the car, locked it, and we went in to get the stuff. It was upon walking out that I realized what the pipsqueak was really up to. My keys were still in the coat. In the locked car. Great! I was able to get in touch with a locksmith friend to open the car, but that wasn't enough humiliation for the angelic looking imp. No, she had to let EVERYONE who walked in and out of the store know that daddy had locked us out of the car. Not just one or two people. EVERYONE! The twinkle in her eye and smirk on her face let me know this was no accident. She had set me up. And this was her time to remind me who's boss. I was never happier to see my friend then when he got there.
Next time, we're walking babe.

Dad: One exceptionally good at embarassing you

I'm at home today with a sick little one. Fortunately, it's the bigger little one. Lauren woke up screaming last night complaining about her ears. So, I stayed home with her and took her to the doctor. The doctor asked which ear hurt, but she clammed up tighter than ... well ... a clam. (My analogies are just horrid today). He took a look in the right ear and exclaimed "Oooh, I guess it's the right one." To be thorough, he checked the left ear. That led him to say, "Hmm ... I guess it's both!". Not only that, but the infection has blistered some. Based on his explanation, it was a shock Lauren hadn't spent the whole day just writhing in agony. Except ... other than the outburst last night, she's been her normal self.
To make for a special day, I decided to take her to a restaurant for lunch. Naturally, the restaurant chosen is more known for it's ice cream sundaes than food. After all, M&M minis, whip cream, and a cherry on top of a chocolate and chocolate chip ice cream smothered in hot fudge and peanut butter would brighten anyone's day. (Except for maybe billwith2js).
After lunch, we got her medicine and headed home. I had to do some work (what a lovely use of PTO), during which she was quite understanding. Once that was done, it was time for fun. We played with now half deflated balloons from Eric's party this weekend. That included her laughing hysterically as I tried to keep 2 balloons in the air by diving left and right and making mince meat of my knees. It was painful, but her laugh just erases any sense of pain.
At one point, I asked if she wanted to play keep the balloons in the air, but she preferred to watch and laugh.

Me: Ah! I see. You like seeing me make a fool of myself.
Her: Don't worry daddy! I know you can do it!

I thought I had a few more years before having to deal with a snarky daughter! She's just growing up too fast. Next thing you know, she'll be doing that tongue click/eye roll combo when I inevitably say something stupid or embarrassing. After all, what is being a father except doling out embarrassment as often as possible?

I Think I'm Going to Throw Up

Over the past few weekends, I have been forced to engage in an activity I loathe: Exercise. I have tried to avoid this as much as possible, something my portly girth can attest to. Unfortunately, an insipid little person has taken it upon herself to be my personal trainer, whether I want one or not.
The problem all started with a new bike. When riding her tricycle, I could easily keep pace with just a leisurely walk. Having tires only 4 inches in diameter will do that. As we all know from our geometry classes, that's a mere 12.6 inches per rotation of the wheel. Lauren's little legs couldn't drive that puppy fast enough to make me break a sweat. Now, however, she's gotten a big girl bike with wheels a full 12 inches in diameter. THAT'S THREE TIMES THE SIZE!! Couple the bigger wheel with a more standing position and she goes so fast I have to jog to keep up. JOG!!! ME!!! I am especially annoyed when she starts going full tilt, then looks back and laughs at my continued insistence on not wearing a sports bra. She's got a wicked sense of humor for a three year old.
Why not just get a bike of my own? Because, silly reader ... ... I have no answer for that. But it would be tantamount to admitting I am going to work out because now I have made an investment. At least this way, Debbie might, possibly, have to do the running. In all likelihood though, it will be me. I just can't wait to be the laughing stock of the neighborhood when people are actually outside to see my portly behind bounding down the sidewalk in a desperate attempt to not be a negligent father. Hopefully, everyone will keep it down to a snicker until I pass out of earshot. Right now, that's the best I think I can expect.

I would have tried Valium, but there are laws

Prior to kids, having either Debbie or I sick was annoying, but could be a blessing. If Debbie were ill, I would take care of her, but I could also hop on the computer for long stretches. Even with one child, things weren't so bad. After all, plenty of rest time could be had when nap/quiet time came around. Now, putting one of us out of commission on a weekend is borderline cruel and unusual punishment. With two kids, there's no down time at all. I think they secretly confer to make sure they each demand their naps at separate times of the day so you have to keep at least 1 occupied at all times.
It all started last weekend when Eric contracted a fluctuating fever with some minor coughing. We figured it was an ear infection coupled with a cold. By Tuesday, we decided a pediatrician visit was required and found out the poor little guy had pneumonia. Blech! By Thursday, Lauren started sporting the signs of a cold, but fortunately not pneumonia. On Friday, I too was stricken with a cold. Then came Saturday morning. I only had congestion, with some sneezing and coughing. Debbie woke up in the middle of the night with the flu. That put me in charge of both kids for the whole day. Things went pretty well right up to about 4 in the afternoon. Around that time, my mind and body decided they were done and wanted to take a break. The kids did not oblige. I trudged through the remaining 4 hours of the day, but playing with them was really tough. I became terse and a bit snippy. Especially when Lauren would pull out her crying for no reason routine. Thank goodness for The Jungle Book. That kept Lauren occupied for an hour and a half while I gave Eric some one on one time. Once the movie was over though, it was back to both of them demanding all my attention. Debbie came down around 6:30 because Eric had heard mommy talking and went ballistic (he loves his mommy!). Debbie got him to nap while I took to the task of dinner. After the kids went to bed, so did I.
Fortunately, Sunday found Debbie feeling much better and able to at least help a bit. Good thing too, I'm not sure I could have gone that second day all by myself again feeling like I was. I've decided that next time, though, I think I'm going to sign up to be the sick parent. Suddenly the idea of holing up in the bed room with some occasional sickness unpleasantries doesn't sound nearly as bad.

Short and Sweet

Lots going on ... very very busy ... quick updates:
1. Sheba is a welcome addition and adjusting nicely. Does seem to have an unhealthy affinity for the trash.
2. Lauren is potty trained completely now. May move out of nighttime diapers tomorrow.
3. Eric is crawling like a fiend, standing with support.
4. Moved groups inside company, now very very busy which I haven't been in a long time.
5. Eric getting over pneumonia; kind enough to pass on colds to Debbie, myself, and Lauren. He's so giving.
6. Debbie back at work leaving me to get kids ready in the morning. Awfully fun.
7. Before we leave, Lauren tells Sheba "Bye Bye! You be good! No pee pee, no potty, no trash!"
8. Sick and tired of the damn snow. Particularly since I don't have a snow blower. Getting one after the season.
9. Stupid weather channel is calling for 2+ inches on Sunday.

One more thing I lose.

Vacation days just aren't the same when you have kids. Today, I took a vacation day so I could stay home with Lauren. She was sick last night and we felt it best to keep her at home today. Why couldn't today have been like Monday. I had a holiday and the rest of the family didn't. So, I stayed home and played Call of Duty 4 all day. Today, I couldn't even get downstairs to play the Xbox even 1 little bit.

The Clock is Ticking, Get to Work.

Do you expect a toddler to ask questions that would task even the most learned scholar would have a hard time answering? I sure don't! And I certainly didn't expect such a question in the car today.
Eric had to go to the doctor's office this evening, so I went there and picked up Lauren to take her home. On the way, we had our usual conversations and song singing. Again, as usual, she expressed that we were going to see Sheba when we got home? That's when she whipped out the big guns.
Lauren: "Daddy, where's Lizzy?"
Me: "Um ... Lizzy died sweetie", I said confused because she's gotten this part of the topic as far as I knew.
L: "Is Lizzy at the dentist?"
M: "No sweetie ... she died."
L: "But where is Lizzy?"
M: "She's in doggie heaven."
L: "Can we go to heaven and get her?"

Here's where I just had to stop. I completely understood her thinking and could not figure out a way to placate the curiosity. She knew I took Lizzy to the doctor's and she also knew people don't stay at the doctor's, so Lizzy had to be somewhere. Lauren wanted to know where that somewhere was and how do we get there. What is a parent to do at this point? I did what I thought best: stall.

Me: "Honey, you're going to have to give daddy a bit on that one. If you still want to know tomorrow, you can ask me then."

Now ... please help. I need to know an answer in 18 hours. Better get on that, the clock is ticking.

Is there a Clapper for this Switch?

Anyone I asked about potty training our daughter had the same thing to say: "When she gets it, it will be like flipping a switch."
In my head, I knew this to be true. It was just really hard to keep that in mind when potty training had gone so slowly. We initially started trying last year, but it seemed to stress her out a lot. She began having severe pains going poop from holding it in. Figuring the stress was just too much, we decided to back off until after Eric was born.
Our second attempts began in late July/early August. We got some training pants and went back to work. Pee pee got picked up very quickly (especially at day care). However, going regularly was still a long way off and pooping on the potty was a pipe dream at this point. Fast forward to November and Lauren's birthday party. A friend of ours approaches and asks if Lauren is used to sitting on the potty by herself. Not to my knowledge, but there she was. Seeing me, she simply states "I don't want to go pee pee in my diaper!". Well new, color me pink!
November was really good for using the potty for peeing, but not a single "movement". Things were going so well that we decided Lauren was ready for underwear. The first underwear tryout went as well as good be expected. She wet herself and realized these new fangled things don't work quite as well as diapers. It was amazing to see her "get it" so quickly. One accident and she knew that she had to be on the potty to go pee. Pooping was still an issue, but my little girl devised a plan. Since we still have her wear diapers when she goes to bed, she would wait until bed time and, no more than five minutes after the diaper goes on, she'd push out a poop. A little annoying, but it was thrilling to see how exciting underwear was to her.
Fast forward to Friday. I come home from work to get this exciting announcement from Lauren: "Daddy! I went poo poo on the potty!!". We were so happy for her and she was so excited too! We got a repeat performance yesterday and more praise was heaped upon her. All of a sudden, she "gets it". I'm waiting to see how the rest of this fairs, but it is such a relief to see how, after all the frustration and self doubt, we didn't emotionally scar our daughter for life. She won't be wearing diapers when she's 13!
If there is one thing I am truly thankful for is the cutoff date for school. If Lauren was born before September, she would have had the opportunity to go to school this year. I simply cannot fathom the stress associated with that. Now, she has a full 9 months to perfect this skill. It truly is a load off our minds (so to speak).

I'm not crying, I'm just washing my eyes

There are times when children do things so upsetting to their parents, the only recourse is to huddle away in a corner, cry, and ponder what went wrong. When confronted with this situation, I'm not saying I cried, but I did huddle in a corner and ponder what mistakes I might have made.
After returning safely home, my in-laws came to visit the next day. Due to schedules and work, we did not get to open their or our presents until the 1st. So, this entire time, there are presents under the tree. There are even some special presents that weren't under the tree before we left for Baltimore. Lauren barely noticed them. Okay, I said, she's having fun playing with grandma and she was used to not touching the presents under the tree. She'll get excited when we start opening. The day arrives and we proudly announce we're going to open presents today. Lauren seems pleased with the idea, but does not reach any sort of fever pitch one can only achieve by injecting adrenaline directly into the bloodstream or by giving a child a cookie. Midway through opening presents and Lauren's done. She's got some toys she likes and she's decided that's enough for today. Ooookaaay, I think to myself. She's just tired and there were a lot of presents (I think grandma robbed a Toys R Us or something). We try again on Thursday and proudly announce it's time to open presents again. Do you know what my darling little angel said? "Not yet, maybe later."

WHAAAAAAAAA?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Not yet?!?!? NOT YET?!?!?! Why not just rip my heart out and perform the Mexican Hat Dance on it? My own daughter ... *sniff* ... showing ... *sob* ... SELF-RESTRAINT!!!! WAAAAA! I'm still at a loss. How could she do this to me? I wanted to open presents and she wouldn't let me!
Well, there's only one thing to do now. Lauren's a lost cause. Time to refocus my efforts on Eric. I'll make him a present opening fiend with no time for things like thank you's and reading the cards if it's the last thing I do.

A Christmas Rhyme

Twas the morn before leaving for Christmas
And what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a toddler with an ear infection
Just a simple test of our Christmas cheer

Stages of Life: Crawl, Chew Food, and Poop

Several milestones have been reached and I've just been too lazy to say anything. Bad daddy!
First, Eric is crawling! The little guy was so close for so long it was getting comical. For a period of about 2 weeks, he would get on all fours, rock back and forth, and then do a face plant on the rug. This was followed by some minimal movement achieved through using his arms to drag himself forward. Finally, he got his legs to work in concert with his arms and Voila! Crawling baby!
Second, we have a tooth! This boy has been drooling so much recently, boats with passengers wearing rain ponchos would travel up the river that lead from his mouth to the drain. Salmon could be seen jumping over his head trying to get upstream. There weren't enough towels to contain the saliva torrent he created (Hmm .. hyberbole much?). It took several midnight - 3 am blood curdling screams, but the bugger broke through and he now has a sharp little tooth. I can't say I've seen it yet because, even though he smiles a ton, he likes to stick his tongue out when doing it, making it a bit hard to see. I have felt it though.
Third, real food ... well ... not real ... he's not eating steaks and hamburgers (though he looks like it). He's already passed the stage 1 foods and easily progressing through the stage 2's. This boy can eat! On the rare occasion when I've fed him, he just opens wide and takes container after container of food. From green beans to vegetable beef, no food is too delicious to ignore.
Finally, potty training. Yes, we're still trying and it's been interesting. Lauren has no problem going pee pee on the potty. She is quite happy about it, though there is the occasional wet diaper still. It's poo poo that is going to be the end of Debbie and I. She steadfastly refuses to go poo poo on the potty. We've tried everything. She's almost run out of reward stickers for having a dry diaper and going pee pee, but the poo poo on the potty stickers have yet to be touched. We've tried being gentle, being stern, telling her to sit on the potty when she gets "the face", just about anything we can think of. She still refuses. We're going to try the "$75 solution" next, and it might work, but it's just a pain to see through to the end. Fortunately, Lauren doesn't have to be fully potty trained until August when she's old enough to go to pre-school, but I would like to be done with this sooner than that. Much sooner. If anyone says potty training a toddler is easy, I may have to do a beat down. Preferably with a bag full of poopy diapers.
So those are the recent milestones for the kids. Hopefully, the wife and I can retain just enough sanity to get through this and then start all over again with Eric. Hooray!

In case of emergency, use for good

Last week brought some unsettling news in to the Twench household. I always knew Lauren was born with an innate power I would have no chance of controlling. I could only hope to train her to use this power for good rather than evil. Unfortunately, the training has to start a lot earlier than I had ever imagined. You see, last week, Lauren's day care provider told us about a little incident that occurred when they were at the park. Lauren has 2 friends about her age, we shall call them Shy & Sensitive and Little Caveboy (both boys). Shy & Sensitive is exactly that, but is starting to come out of his shell. He likes to talk, especially with lauren. Little Caveboy likes to grunt and scream as boys like to do. Lauren used to hang out with Little Caveboy all the time, but lately has gravitated towards Shy & Sensitive. Thus begins "The Incident". At the park, Lauren gave Shy & Sensitive a hug, but not Little Caveboy. If you were Little Caveboy, how would you react? Yup ... a fight ensued between the two. With her blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, and slender physique, I knew Lauren would hold tremendous sway over those of the male gender in her surroundings. I just never in my wildest dreams figured we would hit that point at 3 years old.

Happy Birthday Lauren

It's a day late, but I forgot to mention that, yesterday, Lauren turned 3 years old. In the past year, her hair has gone from thin and whispy to longer and little thicker. Her height has reached to over 3 feet. Her vocabulary just grows by leaps and bounds and her pronunciation get clearer every day. She's also gone from an only child to the big sister. What a year.

We Theme Because We Can

As Heather opined, it is quite nice to be able to theme your children's halloween costumes. Here we are about ready to set off on the grand Trick-or-Treat Adventure.

 

Gallery Update

It's Friday afternoon. You don't want to work, do you? Well, here's a nice time waster. PICTURES!!!

Watch the installation of our new windows.
March pictures.
April pictures .
May pictures
Some renovations to Eric's and Lauren's room.
June pictures.
July pictures.
August pictures .
September pictures.
Eric's Baptism.
Pictures from our trip to Greenville, SC, Charlotte, NC, Baltimore, and Ocean City.

Okay, so you may need more than the afternoon.

The Ups and Downs of Fatherhood

Yesterday was one of those classic fatherhood days. For the past 3 years, I have found it difficult to have one of those "bleck" days where nothing goes right. I have also found it difficult to have one of those fantastic days where everything goes right. Kids tend to see to it that you have some really good highs and some really good lows, all in the same day.
Let me start with the lows. Lauren was in a "Let's see what I need to do to make daddy's face turn red" mood. I wish I could have seen it coming, but she was in a great mood that morning and even when I walked in the door. I thought I might have a good night right until I said it was bed time. The look on her face was as if I had taken her favorite doll and ripped it's little head off. In her mind, I immediately transformed from SuperDad to OgreDad with 3 little words: "It's bed time". Things just went down hill from there. She tested me at every step, slowly tinting my face from the normal, healthy, pasty white to ever darkening shades of Daffy Duck blowing his top red. Naturally, I did my best to hide my anger since ... well ... blowing up just tends to make the situation worse. You hold onto that until your spouse asks a seemingly innocuous question like "How was your day?" and you can blow up then. From placing her in bed, until she actually was asleep (or at least willing to not get out of bed and yell out the door) took over an hour. Ugh. As any parent, I absolutely loathe feeling angry at my child, but it happens sometimes.
Now for the high. If you are ever feeling down, feeling like you accomplished absolutely nothing in the past 24 hours, I have found the remedy for that. Simply head towards the bathroom and your toddler will demand to follow you. For some reason, potty training toddlers love to see how others do their business to pick up on any best practices. When the distinct sounds of things going in the water emanate from the toilet, he expression of joy on their face will brighten your day. Their exclamations of "You go Pee Pee!! You push out the Poo Poo!!" will instill a pride that Yes ... you did push out the poo poo and you did a darn good job at it. There's just no better feeling.
Now, the truly gifted child will not need a whole day to give you a high and a low. The good ones can achieve that in a mere 15 second span. Case in point, after her 4th time out of bed and yelling out the door, I marched in, angrily picked her up, and forcibly placed her in bed, which caused the water works to go in overdrive. I wasn't proud of this, but I had had enough of the bed time delays. I waited a bit and then snuggled with her to make her feel a little better. After tucking her in for the upteenth time that night, I was praying this one would stick. Even so, I softly whisper, "I love you". As I leave, I hear the following: "I love you too". Crap. Guess I can't be angry after that anymore.

Thus begins the favoritism

"Mom always liked you best!"
Have you or a sibling ever used this phrase? I haven't, but I know my brother has. Because ... well .. mom did like me best. What's not to like? I was the perfect child. Anyway, I digress. Yesterday, I actually did something for which I am ashamed. Eric is getting too big for the infant carrier. He's little feet dangle off the end like some perverse cat toy. Debbie and I both knew it was time for an upgrade. On the other end, Lauren is close to outgrowing her convertible car seat. Her weight is still in Range, but her height is pushing the limits of the 5 point harness. Hmm ... we could buy Eric 2 new convertible car seats at a cost of about $160 each OOOORRR we could move Eric into Lauren's seat and get her a new toddler seat at a cost of about $40 each. Wonder which one we chose? Yes ... Eric, who is using Lauren's infant carrier, will get to reuse Lauren's convertible car seat. Our only saving grace is both were a neutral color so our little boy wasn't gallivanting about in a bright pink with purple flowers infant carrier. The convertible seat too is a nice blue and black, so no issues there. Still, the cycle of hand-me-downs has continued. Just wait til Eric figures out he'll get Lauren's new booster seat too. And this one is pink with purple flowers.
We love you son. No .. really we do.

An Unknown Now Known

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS SOME GRAPHIC POTTY DESCRIPTIONS. PARENTAL DISCRETION ADVISED.
As a parent, my world is constantly shaken by the discovery of here-to-fore unknown aspects of the inner workings of the universe. Case in point, did you know a woman could possibly miss the toilet while sitting down
We're in the middle of potty training right now. Lauren is successfully going pee pee on the potty (having heard 18 stickers since in a little under a month). She does like privacy though, so I stand outside the door while she goes. Lately though, I noticed the seat was getting wet. I figured the only explanation was she wasn't sitting properly, like leaning back to far. Endeavoring to figure out what was going on, I peeked in and saw what was happening. She was sitting correctly on the potty, not leaning back at all. However, she had clenched her legs so tightly that the urine was coming up and out the hoo hah (Yes .. I'm having fun with this okay?!) onto the seat. I was flabbergasted! I didn't think it was even possible for something like that to happen. Ladies? Is this something you knew and were hiding from us men?

Next, she'll want a boyfriend

Lauren is growing up way to fast. This weekend highlighted 3 distinct aspects where I'm not ready for her to be as old as she is.
First, control. We were at a restaurant when Lauren turned and said, "Mommy, I need to go pee pee!". Having heard this before, we had to make sure she knew what she wanted. "Sweetie, did you already go pee pee, or do you want to go to the potty?" "POTTY!" Debbie got up, took Lauren to the potty and, sure enough, the little girl did her business. We had been using the potty at home, but it was more of a sit on it and see if something happens. This was the first time Lauren felt the urge and knew what to do. You should have seen our beaming faces after that little nugget ... well ... stream, in this case, came to light.
Up next, femininity. We decided to attend the annual Sunset Festival our town holds. There were all kinds of things for Lauren to do, including a nail salon offering free nail polish for girls. There must be something innate in females around the world that attract them to cosmetics like a moth to fire. Once Lauren saw what the ladies at the table offered, she had to have it. Even more scary was she knew pretty much what her role in finger nail polishing was. Almost, like some dormant gene activated by the beautification ritual she witnessed on the girl in front of us. I was thinking she would go for a bright pink or a purple nail polish, maybe even a silver. Nope, she went straight for the Boy Toy Red. I was having a hard enough time with my little girl getting her finger nails all gussied up, but this was getting unbearable. Here was my blond haired, blue-eyed, tan little girl getting a shade of finger nail polish that told any 3 year old boy in a 1 mile radius to come hither. When it was time to get a pink monkey tattoo, it, fortunately, went on the arm, but I know the day will come when it won't be on the arm, but the small of the back. When that day comes, I'm locking her in the basement and buying a shotgun.
Third, maturity. For some odd reason, Lauren had taken to sleeping on the floor for the past week or so. Debbie and I did not know what to make of this. Just before bed time, she would request a quilt be laid on the floor. Once done, she would hop onto that instead of her toddler bed. It finally struck us that maybe ... just maybe ... the toddler bed was getting to small for her lean, but tall frame. Maybe it was time she graduated to a real big girl bed.
Finally, empathy. Of course, as parents of the 21st century, the new bed would be required to have netting so she wouldn't fall out and bump her head. I'm not sure why ... maybe due to some repressed trauma I had ... All I remember is sleeping on a bunk bed with a slat about 2 inches high to prevent my plummeting 5 feet to the floor. Sure I had dreams of falling a lot, but every morning, I go up off the floor and felt fine! Anyway, it was my job to put the contraption together last night. Things were going along fine as I assembled and Lauren played. Then, I hit a snag. I could not, even with all my strength, get the final security bar in place so I could secure it with a screw. I did everything I could. It just would not get even close to being in position. I may have let out a few choice words which might have possible entered the ear canal of my daughter where it was possible the drum converted those words into maybe a signal to the brain where it could have registered that maybe daddy was getting a little frustrated. Lauren lifted her attention from her castle, looked at me, and said the following:

It's okay daddy. I know you can do it! You're my daddy!

Like the Grinch on the top of Mount Crumpet, I felt a surge of energy akin to a heart growing 3 sizes that day and I FELT THE STRENGTH OF TEN DADDIES .. PLUS TWO. With that strength, I was able to look that bar in the eye and say, "I CAN DO THIS!" And I did. All because my little girl knew daddy needed some words of encouragement.
See, I can't handle this. She's getting so big already. I don't want to even think of the day she says she has a boyfriend. Eric needs to get big fast so I can use him to beat up any potential suitors. At least that way, I can use the plausible deniability defense when his much bigger father comes to investigate.

Do Toddlers Get PMS?

I know there are women who read this blog, some even give comments that make me feel all funny and tingly. So, for those of the fairer gender who are reading this, I must pose a question: How does a 2 year old get PMS?
Lest you think I'm a bit over the top (and what could possibly make you think that?), let me explain what brought this conundrum about. Yesterday, I made the horrible mistake of not letting Lauren put the keys in the car before we headed to day care. This gaffe was so egregious as to cause immense pain and suffering for the entire drive to day care. All 10 minutes of it. Tears, yells, kicks, etc where in plentiful supply. The drama continued up to and past drop off. It was so bad, a drop-and-run technique was employed to break free from the vise like grip she used around my neck.
Let's cut to this morning where I had the foresight to let Lauren place the keys in the car. Yesterday's screaming, crying hellion transformed into a peaceful, quiet, even pleasant little angel. She took off her shoes, gave me a kiss, and went to see her friends. As I left, she yelled "Goodbye Daddy! I wuv you!!!".
I don't know if I will be able to survive the teenage years if this is what the toddler years are like. I'm just envisioning a similar mood swing, but completed in a compact 15 minute timespan. Oh, and several of those a day. If I don't lose my hair by then, I'm going to rip it out.

How Would You Respond?

One thing I miss about not having kids is the ability to go to the bathroom by myself. Now that Lauren is potty training, when she spies me heading to the facilities, she will rush to my side and demand to go with me. I have learned to live with this, but a few days ago Lauren did something that completely caught me off guard. She noticed I was going poo poo. When the "Plop" came, she gave me a big hug and said "Good job daddy! I'm so proud of you!!!!"

"Um .... thanks?"

Operation Tinkle Tinkle Plop Plop

Wow!! That's all I have to say right now. We are smack dab in the middle of Operation Tinkle Tinkle Plop Plop here at the Brown Household. Since returning from vacation, Lauren has used the potty THREE times to go pee pee!!!!!! She's earned 3 of the 10 stars she needs to get the giant Minnie Mouse!! We're just on cloud nine. We've had her sit on the potty for close to 3 months now with nothing. Then BLAM!!! 3 times in 2 days! Woot! Up next is getting the Plop Plop phase of the operation going. She's a little hesitant about that, but hopefully, she'll figure out it's much better than using a diaper.
It's funny ... when Lauren was born I was a little disappointed she would have to wait until she was almost 5 before going to preschool. Now, I'm ecstatic. If we had to have her potty trained before September of this year, I'm not sure we could have done it. With the cut off date though, she'll have a whole year of potty use under her belt before going to school. I think she'll be just fine.

I Must Keep Saying Routines Are Good

It's no wonder I've lost 10 pounds this summer. Once I get home, it's full "entertain and care for Lauren" mode. Today's rundown of activities is pretty typical for a week day evening:

1. Arrive home to Lauren's big smiles and hugs.
2. Once dinner plans are established, Lauren and I put our shoes on and head out. Part of this ritual is Lauren taking a shoe, placing it on her foot, and ask "Is this the right one?". I respond whether it is or not. Then, she grabs the other shoe, places it on the other foot, and repeats the question. As if, there was some third foot this shoe could go, but she's somehow forgotten it.
3. She climbs in the stroller and we go for a walk around the block. It's not long (about 10 minutes) and we have nice conversations about the big/little doggie that happens to be walking by; some toy in a drive way she wants; etc.
4. Once back, we grab her "big bouncy ball" and play a little bit. We kick the ball, chase the ball, bop the ball on her head, hit the ball in the tree. It's thoroughly exhausting.
5. When dinner is ready, we go in wash our hands and eat. Some days are more cooperative than others, but this usually isn't too bad.
6. After dinner, we play some more, this time in the playroom.
7. Then, it's bed time and thus begins another routine. This routine commences with a hug and kiss for both Eric and Mommy. Eric's kiss is on the head, Mommy's is on leg for some inexplicable reason.
8. Once the requisite lovies are distributed, we head upstairs. Now tonight, fortunately, was NOT a bath night, so the routine is a little shorter. We do, however, have a new addition to our nighttime routine: potty time. Lauren gets butt naked and sits on the potty while I encourage her to push the peepee or poopoo out while I read her bedtime stories. So far, no successful potty yet, but we're working on it.
9. When stories are finished (the current favorites are Dr Seuss' Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose and Sneetches and Other Favorite Stories), we get a diaper and pajamas on. Well, Lauren does. I don't wear pajamas *wink wink nudge nudge know whaddi mean*.
10. Now that we're ready for bed, it's time to brush our teeth. Lauren has her own special toothbrush with toddler toothpaste. I have my own toothbrush and we brush, brush, brush our teeth clean.
11. Whew! We're almost done. All that's left are bed time prayers and go to sleep. Seems simple enough. In the past months, I transitioned prayers from my saying them to Lauren echoing what I say. The prayers are shorter and simpler now, but she's getting the idea. The other night, she said a whole prayer by herself without me prompting.
12. So, she's in bed and I'm done for the night, right? Not bloody likely! There are a few bouts of her getting up and talking, I put her back to bed and cover her up, repeat. My favorite time though is right after I put her in the bed. I cover her up and give her a great big hug. She grabs me and says I've got you!. Naturally, I have to respond with On the contrary, I've got YOU!. A spat of kisses on the cheek follows. After about 20 minutes, she's finally in bed for good, if not necessarily asleep.

That's our evening routine. I guess this is a good thing. It takes a while; it's mostly fun; it can be frustrating at times though.

So much to do and yet I do none

As Debbie mentioned, a week from today begins our 2 week jaunt to 4 states. With a 2.5 year old and a 0.25 year old (i just like decimals), we have our work cut out for us. The current division of labor is Debbie sits next to Eric (since she does have the food supply) while I get Lauren and the DVD player. As if I couldn't already recite most of the lines from memory, I get to watch it just a few more times. Huzzah!
Of course, that means a lot of planning and packing. That means, of course, that I'm about to spend my time wisely by going to see The Simpsons Movie all by myself. My company had an employee picnic, so I came home early. I know Debbie has no interest whatsoever in seeing this movie, so I have to find a way to go see it. With Lauren at day care still, this is an ideal opportunity. I will be home earlier than if I had gone to work, so this is a win-win. I should help pack, but there is a movie to see at 4:50, so I need to get going. What a good use of my time!

A Bit of a Control Freak

I hate to admit this, but I think Lauren is a bit of a control freak. She has to manipulate her environment in a way suitable to her tastes. This weekend, we had some friends stay with us, including their 7 year old daughter. Given the gorgeous weather, we thought it would be nice to have the kids put on swimsuits and play in the yard. We recently got a giant ball that sprays water out the sides. Lauren hated it. She wouldn't even get close to it. Well, let me rephrase that. She wouldn't go near the ball after some prick turned off the water to lure her, then turned it back on to spray her. (What kind of prick does that? Honestly? To his own daughter ... oh ... whoops) Next, we pulled out a little pool. Once inflated and filled, she was in heaven. She jumped and whooped and dunked until we had to drag her inside. My only thought is she wanted to control how she got wet and a sprinkling ball just did not suit those needs.

Watching Disaster Unfold

Have you ever been watching something you knew would cause disaster, but didn't want to interfere? I was caught in just such a situation last night. Lauren and I were outside playing with some neighborhood kids when she and a 3 year old girl saw a whiffle ball and bat. First, Lauren grabbed the ball and went to pitch. She actually did quite well and there were no caroms back into the crotch (though it usually is funnier when daddy is the pitcher in that situation). Next, Lauren grabbed the bat. This is where things got interesting. The little girl started her wind up and I immediately knew Lauren would be crying in mere seconds. This kid wound up tighter than a boa constrictor around a mouse. My gut screamed, "STOP HER!". Perhaps I should have, but I was just too intrigued to see what would happen. When she let loose with that whiffle ball, any major league scout with a radar gun would have immediately signed her to a big league contract. And, like any good pitcher who feels the batter is crowding the plate, she nailed Lauren in the chin. Fortunately, no blood or anything ... just crying and some snuggling.
Now, I'm not a heartless beast here. I did take some actions that prevented serious harm. For example, I did make Lauren step back when she decided a better place to bat would be 3 inches from the little girl's face. See? A heartless beast would have wanted to see how much damage batting 3 inches from the pitcher would cause.

Grapes and Watermelons

When you have two children, comparisons are bound to happen whether you want it or not. In that vain, I figured why keep those pesky little comparisons in my head. Why not send those little buggers right out into the world for everyone to nit pick! The one mitigating factor here is parental senility. I'm having a hard time remembering exactly what Lauren was like at 3 months old, but I have some general notations that I think hold.
For starters, Eric gives a lot more smiles. He even laughs! Just look him in the eye and give a little song and he'll respond with a gummy smile to melt even the most hardened heart. The best is when he giggles. He gets all arm-flaily and feet-kickey and gives the most wonderful little giggles. My mother likes to say Lauren is intense, she focuses on one task and does it. Eric is Mr Happy-Go-Lucky. Whereas his sister will say, I want to go to the park NOW; Eric is "Hey dude ... whatever ... it's AAAAALLLL cool".
Next, Eric is ginormous (thanks Websters for letting my use this word legitimately now). Lauren, at 2.5 years old, weighs about 27 lbs. She's always been a tiny little thing. Eric, on the other hand, weighed in today at a hefty 16 lbs 3 ounces and he's only 3 months old! I'm going to have a 1 year old son outweighing his 3 year old sister. Oh well, guess I can use him to intimidate the boyfriends who come calling. Lord knows I won't be very intimidating when her boyfriends (ugh ... what a horrific thought!) have to crouch to see me eye-to-eye.
Lauren hated pacifiers with a passion. Every time we tried one, she would immediately reject this obvious trick and demand whatever it was she originally wanted. Eric not only takes a pacifier now and then, he's started finding his fingers to suck on. More importantly, he recently found his thumb.
I just need to remember that while comparing isn't bad, it's best not to do it too often. Otherwise, you'll refer to your petite daughter as Veruca Salt and your son as Bill S Preston, Esquire. Or, you'll refer to them as a grape and a watermelon. I'm pretty sure therapy is in order if that one is used too much.

What would you like to see at the zoo?

With the gorgeous weather, Debbie and I decided it was not the type of day to stay at home. Going to the park just didn't cut the mustard. Instead, we took a family trip to Brookfield Zoo. To accompany us on this little venture, my parents are in town for the week so they came along as well. On the way there, my mom asks Lauren what she would like to see. Lauren's response: "Dolphins!" My poor mother, thinking Lauren had lost her mind a little bit, seemed shocked. That was until I explained that, yes, Brookfield Zoo does have dolphins. When we got there, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that the Zoo was having a little promotion. All children got a free Independence Bear Beanie baby from Ty. So, while my dad put money in a vending machine to get a soda (not realizing until too late the bottles were $3.75), we headed over to the tent to get the bears. Lauren got to pick the bears for both herself and Eric. They look almost the same, but there are some minute differences. If you want to know what they are, you'll have to come visit us and see :)
Even with spending 5-6 hours at the zoo, Lauren was incredibly well behaved. And, by "well-behaved", I mean she only had about 3 or 4 tantrums. We also signed up as members there, mainly because it was an obvious cheaper way to go. With Eric and Lauren, we knew seeing all of the zoo was just not going to happen. So, why not pay just a little extra and come back for free. As it was, we almost spent what the cost of the membership was, so I think we made a good choice.
On this particular trip, we got to see the bears, some big cats, the dolphins, pinnipeds, pachyderms, and camels. Ok ... now you can go and google pinnipeds. I'll wait.

You back? Good. I know what you're thinking. How could you not see the monkeys?!?!?! I wish I could say. That's just one of the drawbacks of having a 2 month old who insists on eating every few hours. On the way to the zoo, we had a talk and I tried to tell him he needed to go 6 hours without eating. I guess my lecture just fell on deaf ears. Cute, little, deaf ears, but deaf ears none-the-less. Lauren loved the dolphin show, but I think she really enjoyed them before the show started. That's when the dolphins are just roaming the pool and would occasionally do a jump or two. The squeals of delight were a treasure. She didn't squeal much when the show started, but it did captivate her. My favorite part of the trip was when we heard the lion roar. This was just as we were about to leave. Eric was getting his last feeding before heading home. There was this great area where Debbie could sit on a bench, shaded by trees, about 20 feet from the main walk. While not private, it did feel secluded enough to be comfortable. So, we're sitting there and Lauren is spinning this "Wheel of Survival" thing the zoo has, when we hear this enormous barking like sound. Lauren and I rush over to see the lion giving the ole vocal chords a workout. It was quite a sight, and Lauren squealed each time he let loose with a roar.
Overall, it was a great day (though my knees and back might beg to differ) The weather was really great with a light breeze making for a very comfortable time. Now, we just have to figure out when to go back so we can get our money's worth. Oh, and maybe we'll get Lauren to stop by the Sting Ray Bay and get her to put a sting ray. Wouldn't that be neat!

More useless information crammed in my noggin

Ooooooooooooooooooooh, let's name the zones, the zones, the zones. Let's name the zones of the open sea. Theeeeeeeeere's epipelagic, mesopolagic, bathyal, abyssalpelagic. All the rest are too deep for you and me to see.

This has been my weekend. For those of you unfamiliar with the quote, it's the song Mr. Ray first sings in Finding Nemo (one of Lauren's favorite movies). Now, I don't mean we watched FN (Our subtle way of mentioning the movie title without Lauren going into full pleading mode). As I am wont to do around the house, I will occasionally distract the kids with singing. One day, I tried out this little gem because I thought Lauren would enjoy the long monosyllabic intro. Much to my chagrin, she loved it soooo much, she demanded and encore ... and an encore ... and an encore ... and an encore. I will state that the second sentence of this song required some googling to figure out, but my first pass was surprisingly close with a simple phonetic recall of what was sung. Anyway, I now know the 5 zones of the open sea. Jepoardy!, here I come!.

Happy Cookie!

Father's Day was pretty nice around here. We spent a lot of time playing outside in the heat, but Lauren adored it. She was on pretty good behavior too. The highlight of the day came after a put some air in a tire that had gone flat. When I walked into the house, Lauren runs up and yells "Happy Cookie Daddy!". I was a little confused as to the greeting, but joyfully accepted the smile and hug. She then ran into the playroom where Mommy and Eric were. Mommy whispered a little something, then Lauren turned around and said "Happy Father's Day!". I was very proud. She then helped me open some presents (a Cold Stone GC and dark chocolate). I was delighted and got up to give Debbie a hug and kiss when Lauren grabbed my hand and started dragging me into the kitchen. When I spied the kitchen table, everything made sense. Pointing to the kitchen table, gleefully shouting "Happy Cookie Daddy! Happy Cookie!", Lauren introduced me to a giant chocolate chip cookie with icing.

Happy Cookie Indeed!

The Angel and the Hellion

As the title suggests, there is a bit of a conundrum occurring in our household. The one child is an absolute joy. The child listens and smiles lots; is generally just very pleasant to be around. The other child screams, hits, throws, and has tantrums to rival any minor league baseball manager. The main problem we're having is it's the same child.
I imagine around this time, every parent realizes their dear little angel is actually a slight schizophrenic. This weekend could not be a more perfect example. On Saturday, Lauren woke up and had to think to herself: "Today, I think I'm a hellion". Fortunately, we had no real plans, but she just refused to cooperate on anything. She lost watching Dora in the morning because she kept running off when I was trying to dress her. She lost going to the big park because she ran away from me at our favorite breakfast restaurant when I let her come with me to pay the bill. We had at least 3 separate time outs, but I'm pretty sure we could have just sat her in the chair and told her to stay there all day. We tried church too, but she was barely tolerable even there. What really got our ire up though was when I realized I could not find her pajama top anywhere. Debbie and I both realized that if it wasn't visible and it wasn't in any of the drawers, there was one logical place left: The Diaper Champ! Opening the Chamber of Doo-Doo revealed she was having more fun with it than we thought. Not only was the pajama top in there, but so was a dragon, queen, 3 fences, bed, table, king, and other items associated with her castle.
Then, Sunday arrived. She woke up happy, congenial, willing to help, and generally cooperative all around. She was good enough to go to the big park (there's a little one around the corner, but the big one has more slides and more kids which we thought she would enjoy). She was happy during quiet time (as far as I know, no other items other than the cotton stink bombs have gone down the gullet of the Ca-Ca Chomper). What a great day!
I'd like to order more of Angel Lauren, but I have a feeling Hellion Lauren has a lot more of appearances to make. And ... yes ... I did enjoy coming up with the Diaper Champ monikers.

Things I Learned

There are a few things I have learned from my recent bout with pneumonia:

1. I can never grow a beard. The main reason being I would quickly earn the nickname: Neck Beard. Not a real good nickname.

2. I have not had caffeine since Saturday (and that was 1 fricking can of coke!!!). I didn't realize until later that the splitting headache I had on Sunday was not due to being sick, but caffeine withdrawal. That said, I need my Iced Tea. I can't stand drinking water to the extent I have had to drink it the past few days. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hop back onto the caffeine bandwagon, but only because my taste buds require it.

3. Lauren has an incredible immune system. Last night, we were a little concerned as she had a cough and a fever of 101.3. We were sure a trip to the pediatrician was imminent the next morning. When morning arrived, Lauren was up, happy as a lark, cough and fever free. Wish I had an immune system like that.

4. It is really, really hard trying to not touch or interact with your children for any period of time, let alone 3 full days. As of today, I'm non-contagious so I can play with them a bit more. I just need to get my energy back up so I can withstand the ball of energy that is my daughter.

New Friends

Lauren got to make some new friends today. In no particular order, she met:

• Mr. Thirsty
• Mr. Sunshine
• Mr. Tooth Tickler
• Mr. Tooth Counter
• Miss Angie
• Dr. Niles

Confused? Today was Lauren's first trip ever to the Dentist! Mr. Thirsty is the suction thingie; Mr. Sunshine is that big spotlight; Mr. Tooth Tickler is the brush they use at the end of the cleaning; Mr. Tooth Counter was the little scrapey thing; Miss Angie is the hygienist; and the Dr. Niles is self-explanatory. We had been prepping her for the past week that this day was coming. We practiced big smiles and opening wide and making sure brushing our teeth before bed was part of the night time ritual. All of that paid of incredibly well today. Lauren was full of smiles and opening wides and, in general, was very cooperative with both the hygienist and the dentist. On top of being so cooperative, they were very pleased with how Lauren's teeth looked. Even her chipped tooth looked good.
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow because I get to unveil a brand new toy for Lauren: a Power Wheels Corvette! My friend, Tony, gave me a little while ago, but the battery didn't arrive until today. So, if you are in our area, watch out for a good looking blond cruising around the neighborhood in a corvette with the top down. I'm guessing she's going to go until all 6 volts of that bad boy are drained.