Do you know the time? GMT that is.

So, lately I've noticed it has taken an extremely long time for my posts to appear on the LJ feed. I began to wonder why, if LJ checks every hour, it would take up to 6 hours for a post to pop on over. Then I realized the issue. The feed provided to LJ uses a GMT time stamp, currently at CST+6. Ah Ha! So, I've written a quick perl script on my server that will adjust the times in the feed to reflect a more accurate creation and modification time. If all is well in the world, this should appear on LJ not too long (say 1 hour or less) from 17:30 CST.

Begin the test ..... NOW!

A feeling of isolation has been abated.

Thank heavens someone in our government understands the horrible plight I am under. As a child growing up on the east coast, I always felt left out. There was nothing I could do to really fit in with the rest of the country. I was alone (well, alone with the rest of the north east section of the country) because ... *sigh* ... we couldn't use a numbered category system to describe our storms. But thanks to those life savers at the NOAA, this feeling of isolation is no more. They have heard my plight, cast a sympathetic glance my way and said "Here you go. We'll give you category ratings to describe snow storms." Now, I too can experience the feeling people get when describing tornado and hurricane encounters. I can just see me now: "Bah, this was only a category 2 storm. Why sonny, I remember way back when to that Category 3 snow storm of Aught 2." Thank you NOAA!

Just a little tax time PSA

I don't know how many of you buy tax preparation software or consider it a waste of time. I am one of those who love it as it really eases the preparation and form filling. Well, if you buy such software, then you might want to stop by your local Office Depot. They have H&R Block's TaxCut for $10.64 out the door. Compare this to the $29.99 it usually costs and this is a great deal. I have used both TurboTax and TaxCut now and consider them pretty much equal. There are some quirks to each, but if you've used one, you will have no problem using the other. Just doing my duty to help you save some money where they can (unless you weren't planning to buy any tax preparation software in which case you can ignore this post entirely).

We found it! I repeat, we found it!

You may remember my post about trying to find a simple Halogen Floor Lamp and all the difficulties that ensued. Yesterday, I figured I would try my last 2 stores before giving up the ghost completely. And, at the seventh and last store, standing like a beacon in the night, a chorus singing in the background, I found one. A Halogen floor lamp that took a 300 W Type T Halogen bulb. O joyous day! My search has ended!

Surely those signs aren't meant for me.

We all have seen it, someone gets in the express lane with more items than allowed by the store's policies. At our local Meijer, the self-checkout lanes have clearly posted signs stating 12 items or less only. They have even added hand-written signs at the monitor so you can be sure to see it. So, with all this signage, what did I happen upon during my shopping trip the other day. A woman at the self-checkout lane with a CART FULL OF GROCERIES. This was no meer oversight where she had 20 items. This idiot apparently has decided all those strongly worded signs must not have been meant for her. Then, when she had to run to the back of the store to exchange some item she meant to buy, I just stared in amazement at the audacity.

Okay ... end rant ... How was your day?

When it's soul versus ice cream, ice cream wins

You are such a bastard Cold Stone! For the low, low price of my soul, I can get a free ice cream from your delectable selection on my birthday. Must.Resist.Signing.Over.Soul *sigh* I'm going to get so much spam now because of this.

And speaking of being a cheapskate

If you haven't picked up an Entertainment coupon book yet, they are now $10 off for a grand total of $20. BUT WAIT!!!! THERE'S MORE!!!! If you act now, you also get a $25 Gift Certificate to a restaurant of your choice! Shipping is $3.49, so the cost of the book is free if you eat out at all anytime this year.

All I needed was a lamp

Our family room is lit by 1 halogen floor lamp. This lamp has provided luminecense to our lives for many many years now. The other day, we thought the light bulb had burned out. So, I ran out to the hardware store and picked one up since I'd rather not watch TV in the dark (movies are okay to watch in the dark, TV is not). I was my usual handyman self wielding that screwdriver like a ninja wields a katana. In no time at all, I had the old light bulb out, the new one in, and the cover to prevent spontaneous combustion of any object that touches the bulb installed. Plug light back in and ... nothing. Okay, no big deal, I thought. I'll just run out a buy a new lamp because this one is hosed. But whatever lamp I get, it has to take the same bulb becuase these damn things are $7 and I will not waste that $7 (You can't live with a cheapskate like Debbie and not have some things rub off). We are now at 5 store visits with nary a floor lamp taking a 300W Type T Halogen bulb. ALL I WANT IS A TUPID FLOOR LAMP THAT TAKES A 300W Type T Halogen Bulb!!!!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK??!?!?!?! Apparently it is. Oh sure, I could order one online, but most of those are either butt ugly or way too much to pay for a stupid lamp. So, if anyone is in need of a 300W Type T Halogen Bulb. I have 2 available. Will only cost you $20. ;)

The one where we announce something ...

I liked helloheather's title, so I thought I would co-opt it. We have some news we would like to share ... but it ain't about us! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so evil. No, it turns out I'm going to be an uncle. My brother called me this morning to let me know his wife is with child. I wish them all the best, but I'm a little wary about being an uncle now. Back in 2001, there was an uncle who did a little something to expand the list of Duties an Uncle Must Perform. Thanks to him, it is now the duty of the uncle to capture a shark bare handed if one attacks the niece/nephew. Great. How does one go about training for this? Any ideas would be welcome.

I'm getting closer and closer to being famous

First, I have cozied up to a world famous author. Now, I have a world famous cousin. This is a link to an audio clip from a Baltimore Talk Radio station called WBAL. My cousin is the one providing insight into American Idol and I think this is going to be a regular segment. So, I am now associated with 2 famous people! WOOT! Fame should rub off on me anytime now.

I'm glad I'm not this guy

I know I can be a little passionate about sports, but at least I'm not this passionate. I just had a heart murmur, not a full blown heart attack.

Following in my footsteps

My daughter is an electronics genius, which is quite a feat given her ripe age of 14 months. We have a stereo in our dining room that was purchased while I was a sophomore in college. I won't go into the gory details, but that was a long time ago folks. The LCD display on said stereo has, for the past 5 years, been non-functional. If you wanted to know what radio station you were listening to, you just had to wait until the station ID. Recently, Debbie and I have noticed that Lauren likes walking to this device and play with it by either banging on it or turning the knobs or some such thing. Well, one day when I went to shoo her away, I noticed the LCD display was working again! I could tell immediately what station I was listening to because the stereo was telling me! Now Lauren, all we need to do is ship you to Grandma and Grandpa J's house and you can help them hook up the DVD player we bought them. What do you say?

Just building up some good karma

Okay universe! I've done my duty and performed a random act of kindness. In fact, I have performed TWO random acts of kindness. Yesterday, I found a dog roaming my neighborhood. It was a bassett hound whom I recognized from the house on the corner. Since the dog was very friendly, I had no problem putting a leash on it and taking the littler feller home. Then, today, I managed to inform a fellow commuter that the 2 left side tires on his minivan were very low on air and he should get them checked. So, time for a little payback. How bout you giving me the winning Powerball numbers for this week? Is that too much to ask?

Never tell your wife you have the day off

So, last week I made the mistake of mentioning to Debbie that my company has recently decided to observe the Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday. The mintue she heard this (she does not get that holiday off), she got this gleeful, yet evil look in her eye. She then proceeded to whip out a paper ... no ... a scroll of items I could do on said day off. Where she got this scroll, I have no idea but it looks like she mugged Santa one year and took his Naughty or Nice list. She whipped open the scroll to point out some things she REALLY wanted done. That paper rolled out of the bedroom, down the stairs, out the door, and across the street before it was finished. I had no idea there was this much stuff to do. I had assumed my only to-do was to make sure my Tivo shows are cleared up before she gets home.
Just to give you a glimpse of my life, here are some items appearing on that list:

• Pick up dog poop in yard
  
• Strip wallpaper from den
  
• Move garage from right side of the house to the left
  
• Kill the Hydra
  
• Clean the Augean Stables
  
• Billy: Nice
  
• Sarah: Naughty :)
  

So, now that it's my day off, what am I doing? I'm blogging of course which doesn't appear anywhere on that scroll. HA! Take that List from Hell!!!!

Query for Lauren

I need you to clarify something for me my little dear. Are you saying "What's that?" or, when you point to me, are you saying "Ass hat!" It's a fine difference, but I have to warn you. You are not allowed to call daddy an "ass hat" until you're 15 or I've ruined your life (which I will probably do when you're 13). Okay?
Also, would you please stop pointing and things and quizzically saying "Da?" This was funny for a while, but now I'm beginning to wonder if there is something more to this behavior. It's as if you are praying and hoping than anyone other than this dimwit of a man holding you is your father. I'm sorry dear, but I AM your father and you're just going to have to live with that. You can disown me when you're 18, but not sooner.

The cheeks of my vertical smile hurt

Yes, you read that title correctly. I am sore in the gluteous maximus area. I don't remember straining that hard on any "deposits" this past weekend, so I can only point to the installation of a blind in the window over our kitchen sink as the culprit of this unusual injury. It required a lot of squatting and kneeling on the counter so I could see how that could happen. One question though: How badly out of shape do you need to be to pull an ass muscle installing a blind? Was there some kind of warm up I should have done prior to this installation? Perhaps a clenching exercise would have loosened those muscles a bit.

Fun with CSS

So, I finally took some time this past week to overhaul my home page. It had been a little out of date (things like Stacey still being an aspiring author instead of a World Renowned Published Author). This time, I thought I would spice things up a little and try to use a WYSIWYG editor to help out with the design. I went with an open source product called Nvu. It was okay, but I had to find the base template from another site called Blue Robot. I then went to a Color Scheme Generator site my friend Cetan recommended and got the scheme you see now. Since I was in a CSS editing mood, I even modifed the Brown Photo Gallery to use the new base color. I think it works a little better than the blue as it makes the gray text easier to read. What do you all think? Should I not quit my day job?

UPDATE: Sorry, the link to my home page was incorrect and has now been fixed.

New gadgets at our household

Just before we embarked on our Christmas travels, I picked up a new gadget. The phone we had in our family room had gone a wee bit haywire. For a few weeks, if you answered a call on that phone, you would not be able to hear the person and they couldn't hear you. We managed with that, but when it stopped making phone calls all together, that's when I moved on a phone I had been eyeing since the problems first surfaced. I had surmized we need a multi handset phone system so all the phones could talk to one another. In addition, it had to be 5.8 GHz so as not to interfere with my wireless network. The phone we got was the Uniden TRU-8865. WE LOVE IT!!!! Debbie has grown particularly fond of the intercom system it offers. She can just pick up the phone and call me in my office in the basement. Then there are the distinctive ring tones that can be assigned to phone book entries. Looks like my scouring around for a good phone has really paid off!
I love it when a plan comes together.

New Pictures up, but not of Christmas yet

There are some new pictures posted to our gallery for your enjoyment. The December folder under 'That Tod-Tod-Toddling Lauren' album is now complete. There is also a Thanksgiving in Detroit album and, if you are interested in seeing what World Renowned Author Stacey Klemstein looks like, there are a couple of pictures from the Christmas part at their new house.
I expect that I will get the Christmas in Baltimore photos posted sometime this week.

What a coinkidink

As Debbie has mentioned, our garage door opener has gone caput. The motor was running, but nothing was moving. Given the age of the device (13 years), we figured it was time to get a new one. Then, lo and behold, Lowe's decides this is the week it will offer $40 off installation of all their garage door openers! WOOHOO!! So, we have a new Genie Belt Drive GDO and just have to wait for the contractors to call so we can schedule an appointment. What a coinkidink!