Report of a child abusing a parent

Who would have thought my sweet little, angel-faced, 2-tooth smiling little girl would have been capable of such an act? I certainly didn't. And yet, here I am, with a busted lip thanks to this little 16 lb hellion. What a way to greet the morning! Of course, I blame Debbie for this too as she was the genius who placed Lauren in a position to beat me up.
So, here's the scoop on my abuse. Debbie likes to bring Lauren into the bedroom in the mornings to sit by me and have her little coos wake me up. Normally, this is a good thing. Lauren sees me and gives me a great big smile, so its a nice day. This morning, however, she was extra active. She just started rolling and flailing her arms and legs and letting out squeals of delight. Well, she got in a position where her feet were by my head. As I leaned in a bit, she let out a great big kick that cut my lower lip! What a pip squeak!!!
Its okay though *sniff* ... I'll live *snortle* ...

How the world would be if I provided Romance Novel Titles

Okay ... time to get back into the swing of things.
I found a website I know some of my readers will enjoy. This one takes romance novel covers and provides alternate titles based on the picture. You know romance novel covers right? It usually features some horribly over muscled, long haired, gay looking man and a woman sporting a Janet Jackson-esque wardrobe. One of my favorite entries was this one:
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Mr Mom update

Here it is, Saturday night. I've had a little over a day of being Mr. Mom. So far, there has been no discernable trauma to either Lauren or myself, so that's a good thing. I want to send a big thank you to Helloheather and Cetan for helping me with Lauren on Friday. I enjoyed the company and did manage to get some work done.
Despite my concerns of not hearing her wake, I did indeed wake up to little Lauren morning cooing at around 6:00 am. I wasn't all that thrilled to be up at 6 in the morning, but I managed. I spent the morning trying to keep Lauren clean for her photography session at 1. Let me say this was one thing Debbie was really concerned I would flub. Fortunately, not only did I get Lauren there looking clean thanks to the bath I gave her the night before, I also remembered to bring all the stuff I was supposed to bring. I'm really happy because, if I screwed that up, I'm pretty sure I would never be allowed to see Lauren again. The rest of the day was uneventful. I fed her, changed her, put her to bed.
Debbie returns tomorrow night and then everything will go back to normal. Until then, we shall see if I continue my winning ways.

Mr Mom'ing it

That's right folks, yours truly is Mr Mom'ing it this weekend as Debbie had to go to Detroit for her Grandmother's funeral. Lauren and I would have gone, but we actually just got back from a weekend there and we both felt it would be too much on both Lauren and Lizzy to head back. Also, the funeral is going to be outside and the forcast is 50's and rainy. Not the best weather for the little one to spend a few hours outside. So, I do have help Friday and Sunday as Helloheather and cetan were gracious enough to help watch Lauren so I could get some things done ... like blogger ;) However, I'm on my own Friday night and Saturday so I have a few questions.

1. I'm thinking of making hamburgers tonight, how many should I make for Lauren? I was thinking a half of one would be good, since the bun can be a little filling.

2. Does anyone know of a way to connect a klaxon to the baby monitor? Just wondering, because I have been known to sleep through an awful lot of noise ... like Debbie's snoring.

3. How many doses of Pediatric Benedryl should I give to Lauren to keep her asleep, but not comatose?

4. I'm thinking of how to reduce the number of diapers I would need to change. My one idea is a garbage bag and duct tape. That baby should hold about a weekends worth of poop and pee, right?

5. Debbie has been an absolute saint and continues to pump even 6 months later. I don't want to seem a slacker, so how many times should I pump this weekend?

6. When mommies away, the kids will play. Thus, I'm trying to figure out which Cold Stone Original would be best for Lauren. I'm thinking she needs Peanut Butter Ice Cream with Chocolate Fudge. No need for solid mix-ins like M&Ms or chocolate chips as she barely has any teeth. Does this sound okay?

If you can think of something else I should know while watching Lauren on my own, please let me know! Hopefully, we'll both get through this weekend with only minimal amounts of psychiatric and physical trauma.

More pictures

Lauren's sixth month folder has been updated with tons of pictures of you little cutie. Check it out.

Seven Deadly Sins

as portrayed by gummi bears. Gluttony is my favorite! What's your favorite deadly sin?