Boobs

If I had to describe the birthing classes we've taken so far in one word, that would be it: Boobs. Lots of them. And not the kind you pay a cover charge along with regular dollar bill donations to see either. No, these are pregnant women boobs. Pregnant women who weren't that good looking to begin with. They just pop those bad boys out in every video. Ugh!!
What brought this tirade was today's class: Breastfeeding your baby. You can imagine my excitement at that. The video for this class had entirely too much boob exposure. I know this is a class about breasts but these women were just ... "pop" ... for no reason. There were no less than 10 different women showing the world their mammary gland. There was actually one point in the video where I thought to myself, "There's no need to show her boob here ... you're not even talking about that ... you're discussing some other thing, but you have to show her exposing herself!!" I could handle the birthing videos because things aren't as ... um ... recognizable down there. I did find it strange that these women would agree to have their dillywho's shown to expecting couples all around the country, but to each their own, I guess.
This, however, was just a whole different story. I particularly did not need the instructor grabbing her boobs. I mean, this instructor was no spring chicken. But, there she'd go, grabbing em and bouncing them. This is not an image I want engrained in my mind.
Then, the instructor grabbed a felt-looking boob and SHOWED US HOW THE BABY SHOULD SUCK IT!!!!! Wasn't the extreme close-ups in the video enough? Did they find the computer animation inadequate? It's amazing how a simple setting change could affect the perception of such actions. If it were a 20 year old in a strip club grabbing and bouncing her boobs, that seems normal. But this is a 50-something women in a hospital doing this and I was none to please about it.
*sigh*
I think we have some more classes, but I have no idea. The Scheduling Committee has put me on a need to know basis, so I'll just have to wait. If we do have more classes, I can be assured of one thing. The video will have some strange, pregnant lady going "pop".

Some more gift ideas for the baby

Sometimes, they just don't have a registry for the things you really want for your baby. I, for one, have noticed a profound lack of humor in most baby stores. There just aren't a lot of funny outfits for babies to wear. Until Now!.

Of particular interest are the humorous snapsuits that also instruct the infant neophyte. Snapsuits like I might Barf, How to Lift a Baby, and How to Calm a Baby. This is important information people. There are also snapsuits to avoid uncomfortable situations with that strangers who try to guess the gender of your baby by looking at them.

So, if you're still searching for an idea to get a baby, this site has your answer.

My wife has an impressive bladder

Not something you hear complemented very often, but it is appropos in this case. As I mentioned in a previous post, we drove to Detroit for the weekend. We stopped a grand total of TWO times!!!! We stopped once on the way there and once on the way back. I was thoroughly pleased with this outcome. For those who were wondering, no ... I didn't cheat by giving her a cup and say "Here ... use this". She was quite the trooper and really had vey little problems at all. I also have to thank our little one who cooperated by not using mommy's bladder as a punching bag.

The shower was wonderful and a big thank you to my mother-in-law and Debbie's cousin, Tammy, for coordinating the whole thing. I also have to send a big thank you for their decision to let me NOT attend the shower. It was an estrogen heavy event and I'm glad I was not subjected to the outpouring of oohs, aahs, and awws. Thanks to some very skillful packing, we were able to bring almost all of the stuff back with us. Now, time to organize.

The big event for tonight (at least as relayed to me by the Scheduling Committee) is to assemble the new shelves, which the Finance and Procurement Committees approved, in the basement and begin organizing it. That way, we can move some furniture into our storage area rather than trying to rent a storage unit for $70/month. Man ... she spends the weekend commisserating with friends, opening lots of presents. I get to lug said presents and figure out a way to organize them. Joy!

Yet another change

Tonight, Debbie and I once again fearlessly tread across the barren lands to visit my in-laws in Detroit. I have a feeling though that this trip is going to be slightly different. Normally, we embark on our quest sometime around 20:00 and continue uninterrupted until about 01:00. That's all well and good, until you realize she has a little one performing the Mexican Hat dance on her bladder. So, when she says I might want to consider stopping for a bathroom break, that is not a request. Oh sure, it's worded as such. But in pregnant woman speak, that means pull off at the next ramp and get me to a bathroom NOW!!!!!
Oh well, wish us luck!

It always happens!

We're getting ready to head to Detroit for the weekend. I have been given the task of researching new televisions for my in-laws as their current one is going down the crapper. I thought: "Great! I'll just check my Consumer Reports and be set." Sounds simple enough doesn't it? I go check my archives (read cardboard box in the basement). Let's see, I need to find the March 2004 issue. Here's August ... July ... June ... May ... April ... February .... FEBRUARY!!! WHERE'S MARCH!!! I NEED MARCH!!!!

I still haven't found it yet, but I know how to conduct some quickie online research so I got my recommendations finished, but that just annoys me. The one frickin issue I need and I can't find it. I know it's here somewhere ... somewhere in this god awful disaster area that is our house, hiding in a crevasse, mocking me, is that March 2004 issue.
Shh! Here that snickering? MARCH ISSUE ... I SHALL FIND THEE AND I SHALL USE THY RATINGS AGAINST THY WILL!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I guess the pressure is on

Two things happened today that have really started putting the pressure on us. One, Debbie's doctor mentioned that IF she were to go into labor right now .... they would not stop it. WHAT?!?!?! You mean I could be a father TOMORROW!!! GAH!!!!
The other item ... Bay Furniture called to say our sofa and chairs are in and they want to deliver them. We're not ready for that. I haven't gotten painters yet to take a look at what we want done. Worse yet is, when we bought the furniture, I remember thinking how long it was before it would be delivered; that it wouldn't be long after they showed up that so would the baby. OMG!!!! I'm looking forward to everything, but it had better be in October!

What else don't I know about the planet Earth

So, for the past four weeks, Debbie and I have been attending a Childbirth Education class. While Lamaze was part of this class, it certainly wasn't the only topic covered. Part of this class included "the video". You know the one I mean ... THE video. Let's just say ... that scene from Alien ... well ... it wasn't that far off.
Now I did find the class extremely useful. There was a lot of good information ... including tips on how not to have my limbs separated during the labor. We got a nice tour of the hospital, learned all the stages of labor, and determined that a woman in labor has basically no inhibitions. I mean ... it's one thing to let your husband video tape the delivery, but some random stranger who YOU KNOW will mass produce this and show it to expecting couples all over the country. I mean ... WOW!!! All in all though, a very useful class and I think it has prepared me pretty well for the labor.
After all this learning, I'm looking forward to that wonderful moment when I turn to my wife and say "Congratulations honey ... it's a lizard".

And now for the geeks

Are you a Firefox user? If not, you should be. If you are, then you have to read this article. It highlights a bunch of extensions you can add to Firefox to enhance your browsing experience. Here is a list of the extensions I use:

IE View - Opens the page you are currently viewing in Firefox using Internet Explorer
Target Alert - Places an icon next to a link to indicate PDF, "mailto:", RSS, some recognized document type like Excel or Powerpoint.
Switch Proxy - Useful if you need multiple proxy configurations (like at work versus at home)
WeatherFox - Puts weather forecast in status bar of Firefox (better than doing that in the Windows System Tray!)

Finally, I saw this and though I haven't used it yet, it certainly looks very useful for those who need an RSS aggregator: Sage.

How was your Holiday Weekend?

I spent mine, finishing this.

*WAITS FOR YOU TO CLICK ON THE LINK*

That's right, the nursery is pretty much complete. There are a few minor things left like the electrical sockets and finding a suitable wallplate for the light swtich, but the hard work is DONE!!! Wallpaper has been stripped, walls have been cleaned, primer and paint have been applied, wallpaper borders hung, and furniture assembled. It is such a load off to have this done. It's not like I have hundreds of others things to do, but this means that if the baby were to come today, there would be a place for s/he in our home. WHEW!

We also bought dining room furniture, so that means the living room/dining room area is near coming together nicely. All we have to do now is to find a painter. Oh, and clean out the piles of crap that have accumulated there doing my little project.