I hate home improvement projects

If a friend comes up to you and says they need help stripping wallpaper, throw salt in their eyes and run like hell. Stripping wallpaper SUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKSSSS!! I think I have worked on it about 4-5 hours now and I have just over 1 wall done. I am using a steamer which is making the project go a little smoother, but not much. Anytime I think I got a good strip of paper ready to rip off, the backing separates and I have to go back and redo it.

Ugh!

On top of this, I was supposed to have a physical for life insurance (it's funny what you realize you don't have when a baby comes). She is now close to 2 hours late and there has been not one phone call to indicate she would be late. Debbie is less than pleased. [Please note that all descriptions of a pregnant woman's emotions are greatly understated for the protection of the innocent ... namely me] In addition, I have had 1 waffle today because "You get the best results on blood work when you fast". Well, I ain't no Mahatma Ghandi so this fasting crap kinda sucks right now. I foresee an early, very large dinner in my future.

Step away from the camera!

Ine a few months, I'll shall be just as guilty as these folks [via the Onion]

Denver Pictures Posted

Pictures can be found at http://www.chrispy.net/~brown/gallery/denver_2004

Denver - Final Day ... Finally

Whew! I've finally reached the end of our vacation description ... I hope I haven't bored you all to tears with this long-winded, occasionally humorous tale of an exhilarating, exhausting, yet hard to describe vacation.

Day 6 was the day we would fly back to Chicago, so obviously we had to do as much stuff as possible. I mean, come on ... we had an early afternoon flight. There's plenty of time to fit stuff in.

One thing I had wanted to do in Colorado Springs on Day 5 of our little western excursion was to visit the United States Air Force Academy (USAFA). Now, the main reason to go to the USAFA is to see their world famous chapel. Unfortunately, Day 5 was a Sunday and the USAFA Chapel is closed to visitors on Sunday. So, since Day 6 was a Monday, we decided to get up early (again) and head to the USAFA. I had a great time there (Debbie I think went just to humor me).

*Side Note: Did anyone here know that I almost attended the USAFA (USNA was my first choice). Maybe I'll post more on that later.*

The Academy was everything I had hoped for. The chapel was magnificent. It is this massive, unique looking structure. Pictures are going to be posted very shortly. We got to see the plebes (students about to enter their first year at the academy) out practicing marching. We spent about 2 hours there seeing the grounds, taking pictures, avoiding getting arrested ... oh .. should probably explain that last one. The Academy is an active military base so they're pretty tight on security. The best were the signs that said if you drove down that road without the proper pass, the car would be impounded and everyone arrested. Nice. Guess they don't like u-turns too much.

Before we went back to the airport, we decided to stop once again at Ted's Montana Grill for some nice, juicy, tasty bison steak. Mmmmmm ... bison steak. Here's my question though ... Ted's didn't have Buffalo Wings. Why not? They had a theme and they blew it ... your one stop shop for buffalo meat.

Thus ends the Long-winded, Boring Description of our Vacation in Denver. I'll try to be funny tomorrow.

Denver - Day 5

Day 5 was actually very sedate. We had made plans to visit our friend Katie who lives in Denver. We planned on playing the rest of the day by ear, but there was no need. We spent almost the entire day at her place talking, having fun, playing with Archer, and learning a new board game called "Settlers of Catan". Debbie knew I would enjoy the game but she was surprised at how much fun she had. She did win ... *cough* cheater *cough*.
During our conversations, I learned there was a Cold Stone Creamery on the way back to our hotel! Naturally, we had to go because it was a Denver Cold Stone Creamery and that distinction means this was something completely different!!! SHH!! I SAID COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!!!

Denver - Day 4

Ready for another vacation description assault? We actually did stuff on Day 4, but describing it is a little difficult so this will actually be a short post (relatively speaking)

Before continuing, you should know that Debbie and I tend to plan vacations that would make others wilt just from hearing what we did. Today was no exception. The day began with us checking out of the hotel because they wanted to charge as $150 to say on Monday night. My accountant (read wife) would not approve such an expense so we switched hotels. The time was around 7:15 am MDT on Sunday, we were in our car, making the 80 mile drive to Colorado Springs. Since it was so early, the roads were clear so we made good time. On the way down, we modified our plans a bit because we realized all the stuff we could do. So, we started off by driving to and up Pike's Peak. It's kinda odd because they named the mountain after a guy who died climbing it ... you woulda figured the first successful climber could name it or something. Anyway, we drove up to the gate and found out it was open ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP!!! Thus began our 50 minute, 19 mile trek up the mountain reaching 14,110 feet above sea level. The road was paved up until mile marker 10. Then it was a dirt road with a berm standing about 1 inch high to act as a curb, keeping you from driving off and plummeting down the side of the mountain. Yippee! It was especially weird looking straight out the window and seeing no road ... just blue sky .. and clouds ... below you. We reached the summit and took lots of pictures. I even took a movie of the summit. I would like to have been doing an impersonation of Marilyn Monroe, but alas ... I wasn't. THE AIR WAS JUST THAT THIN!!! We spent about 40 minutes up there, bought lots of crap, took lots of pictures, then headed down the mountain because we had more stuff to do.
Up next was the Cave of the Winds. This involves touring a rather extensive cave system with lots of neat rock formations. It's hard to express in picture what we say, but I did my best. The neatest portion of the tour was when the guide took us into a room then turned off all the lights to expose us to "Cave Black" lighting. Talk about not seeing your hand in front of your face! To experience the same thing, do the following:

1. Turn off the lights in your room
2. Climb under the bed spread
3. Cover your eyes with a sleeping mask

This should get you pretty close to the experience we had. Its just much better when you can't see anything and your eyes are completely open.
Up next was the Garden of the Gods. This is a free park featuring massive and beautiful red rock formations. These formations have been given interesting names like The Sleeping Indian and The Kissing Camels. We enjoyed wandering around, but had to leave as there was more stuff to do.
Next, we drove to the Broadmoor Hotel. No ... this wasn't our new hotel. It costs around $400/night to say there and the finance committee rejected that request with an emphatic "NO!" Remember when I mentioned Debbie's parents used to live in Colorado? Well, they lived in Colorado Springs and her mother actually worked at the Broadmoor. She said we absolutely must see this place as it is magnificent. Can't say I disagree.
Finally, Debbie forced upon me the most uncomfortable situation ever. Here it is, 6 pm on a Sunday and she wants to stop by the Air Force Base where her father was stationed way back when. Yeah. Right. "Excuse me Mr M.P., but can we traipse around the base taking pictures?" I was not looking forward to this encounter. The guard was nice enough (meaning he didn't decide to arrest me on the spot for trespassing). When we asked if we could take a picture by the sign, his response was "As long as it's outside those gates there, I don't care" Whew! We would not be returning our rental car with bullet holes .. I was so relieved.
Thus ended our third day in Denver ... well not so much ended as we had a 40 minute drive back to our new hotel in the Denver Technological Park.

Denver - Day 3

Have you caught up yet? Are you ready for another long-winded, poorly written account of our vacation? If not ... TOO BAD!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Day 3 of our trip to Denver brought more wedding festivities. This time, we went to the Colorado Renaissance Fair. This was located about 40 miles south of our hotel, so we had a bit of a drive. I think we arrived somewhere around 11:00 am MDT. I had been to renaissance fairs before so I knew what to expect. There are 4 types of people that go to these things: those dragged there by one of the other 3 types, those who enjoy the ambiance and medieval theme, those who like to go dressed up and share in the fun, and then there are those people who are upset that they were not hired as actors and therefore feel the need to not only dress the part, but act the part. The last type were the worst because you weren't quite sure if these people actually worked there or not, but their crappy medieval, English peasant with no teeth accent usually was a giveaway (it was usually the reason they weren't hired in the first place).

Before I go any further, I need to rant about a pet peeve of mine at renaissance fairs. I can't stand people dressed as pirates. PIRATES!!! This is the medieval age, there aren't any pirates for crying out loud. These people could barely walk in a puddle without drowning. The worst is those guys wearing the big white, ruffly shirt. I mean, it's not like Renaissance garb for men isn't gay (and I don't mean happy) enough what with the tights and the poofy shoulders, but the white, ruffly shirt just irks me. I half expected to see some guy walking around in that shirt with a hot pink bandana and matching hot pants *shudder*

One more aside, I am also not particularly fond of those dressing up as Barbarians. Some do it right, but mostly, they are either extras from a Mad Max movie or they made their costume from things lying in the road on the way there. I did see one guy who I was positive just moved his toupee from his head to his kneecap.

Okay, back to the Renaissance Fair itself. It was a lovely place with a lot of acts. We began by eating (it was after all lunch time) that medievel of all foods, teriyaki chicken and rice for me, lasagna for Debbie. Who says we don't get into the renaissance spirit? After that, we walked around and came across an "Adopt-a-Greyhound" stand. Obviously, we couldn't resist and had to stay there a little while petting the doggies. I'll tell ya, these guys did a great job of picking dogs that would show the greyhound's best characteristics. Children were climbing all over these guys and they didn't care. They just laid there looking very comfortable.

The first show we saw was a juggling act from Texas (Coloradans don't seem to like Texans very much). These guys were really funny and had a great show. I would explain more, but I think the pictures (when I decide I have time to do them), will be more than sufficient. Then we went to see the jousting competition. Here is where I think marketing people should be drug out into the street and shot (or skewered to keep the medieval theme going). It's my opinion that some marketing person wanted the joust to have a sense of "drama" to it, so they hammed this one up big time. There were the two "good" knights (Sir William and Sir Michael) and the two "bad" knights (Sir Roderick and Sir Markus). Roderick and Michael were both suitably cast as younger knights. Markus had that look of an experienced evil knight. William, in whose section we sat, looked like someone thought Chris Farley could have been a knight. To call him out of shape is a disservice to the poor horse who had to carry that load. I was hoping the ASPCA would step in, but no luck. The joust went as expected: a good knight won, then a bad knight won and did things that upset the "good" knights, thereby causing a "challenge to the death" to be announced which naturally would not occur until the last show, a good 3 hours from then. I was not going to stick around for that ham fest.

We walked around some more and noticed that a storm was moving in. Now, keep in mind this place is in the middle of nowhere on the side of a mountain. Not the best place to be when a thunderstorm rolls in. We were trying to get everyone together (there are 15 in all), when God told us it was time to go. Gauging how close a lightening strike hits is never easy, but then again, they don't have to be too close to be scary. At the flash of light and simultaneous crackle that seems to indicate you are now a pot roast, we made a beline for the exit. Mom ... well, let's just say if the 100 meter dash began with a lightening strike instead of a gun shot, she could be an olympian. Remember when I said there were 15 people? This made getting into the cars interesting. One of those people was my now sister-in-law's father who was in a wheelchair. He stayed at the entrance while my brother went to bring a car to the front gate. Debbie and I figured it would be safe to walk to the car at that point, since mom and dad had run to the car, but would be staying there. I noticed something was awry as I stood on the spot where our car was supposed to be. No, it wasn't stolen ... dad had decided to be nice and drive to the front gate ... without telling us ... leaving us standing in an open field with a thunderstorm surrounding us and the rain starting. Debbie was a wee bit unhappy at this development. Fortunately, everything worked out and we didn't get too soaked. However, everyone was split between 3 cars and no one knew what we were going to do next.
This is where the marvel that is the cellphone become apparent. We'll call the 3 cars A, B, and C. Car A called Car B, Car C called Car A and thus we were all connected (though Car A did have to play a little cellphone version of musical chairs). We figured out were to stop for dinner and sort all the cars out. Also, this would be the last time this group got together as most of the out-of-downers were flying back the next day. We had a good meal, said our goodbyes and headed back to the hotel.

Thus concluded Day 3 of our Denver excursion .... whew! My fingers hurt. Tune in next time for "Denver - Day 4" when I will actually have something to say ;)

Denver - Day 2

Debbie's on the phone with her parents, so I'm taking this time to be productive ... well ... she may not think so ... but THIS IS IMPORTANT DAMNIT!!!

Day 2 was the day of the wedding. We were lucky this was a Friday as the original plan was to hold the wedding on a Tuesday (don't ask me why, I don't know either). Now ... remember when I said that DIA is in the middle of nowhere? Well, our hotel was close to DIA and the house where the wedding was held was a good 30 minutes NW of our hotel. We were fortunate enough that the directions to the house didn't include "Turn off the paved road". As best man, I arrived early as requested by the groom. The wedding was to be at 11:00 am MDT so I arrived at 4:20 pm GMT (anyone doing the math yet?). Now ... to give an idea of my brother's planning prowess, 2 weeks ago ... all we knew was the wedding was on Friday, July 16th and it was somewhere in the Denver area. That being said, we weren't quite sure what to expect. Well, the weather was perfect, the house looked wonderful, and the yard (all 36 acres of it) was a perfect setting. They had a tent up for the guests to sit under and a gazebo for the actual ceremony. Everything was lovely and pictures of the blessed occasion will be posted as soon as I can. There were about 16 people there, so it was a small gathering. I knew my toast would have to be moving, loving, and brotherly, so I started it with: "I've always imagined the day my brother got married to be a LOT colder".
The reception was held at Buca de Beppo. For those not familiar with it, this is an Italian place specializing in family dining. All dishes are sized to feed 4-6, including the sides. We actually got the private room with 1 giant round table and a lazy susan in the center. *Side Note (surprise!): In the middle of the lazy susan was a bust of Pope John Paul ... it was a little disconcerting* The meal was wonderful and everyone had a great time.

Here is when the wedding got interesting and a little weird. Scott, my brother, had wanted to take us to a particular miniature golf place the night before. However, with my sister's plane arriving so late, it wasn't possible. Now, when he wants to do something ... he does it come hell or high water. So, after our meal, we went to the mall where this course was located. Notice I haven't mentioned changing yet ... that's because we didn't. 14 people (one of whom was wearing a bridal gown) walking through the mall did garner some interesting looks. What was so special about this particular golf place .. it was black lit. That's right ... miniature golf in the dark with glowing balls. Trust me ... I got pictures of this one because I knew no one would believe it (I don't think the bride really believed it either).
It was fun .. don't get me wrong ... I just wasn't sure (and I'm still not sure) that miniature golf in a suit (or gown for the ladies) was the best idea. Debbie won (I think she cheated). After that, we toured the mall a little bit (still dressed up of course) and looked around a pet store. They had 2 Italian Greyhounds there and a dog that would try to bite your hand if you moved it across the window pane.
Then, it was time to go ... only the skies had opened and it was pooooooouuuuuurrrrrriiiiiinnnnngggg. We all managed to scramble to the cars with minimal soakage and drove back to the house (a good 40 minute drive). From there, Debbie, myself, Mom, and my stepdad (I would normally say Dad, but with my other dad in the story here, it might get a little confusing) stopped by a little 50's diner for a little bite to eat. It was a nice little place and the food was pretty good.

Thus brought the end of day 2 on our trip to Denver. Debbie's off the phone with her parents so this will give you, my loyal reader and the occasional robot, time to catch up. Day 3-5 will be posted forthwith ... but, for now ... enjoy my LOOONNNGGG post.

Denver - Day 1

We'll see how long I feel like doing this so sorry to anyone who wasn't expecting a bunch of update. Our flight to Denver was uneventful, but a little choppy and we arrived around 10:30 am MST. My brother picked us and my dad up from the airport and drove us across town to get our rental car.
Before I go any further, I need to talk about Denver International Airport (hence referred to as DIA cuz i don't like typing long words). As we were approaching, I made sure to look out my window to see if I could see Denver at all. Here's how that went:

Cattle farm .... sod farm .... sheep farm ... sod farm ... oh look! we've landed ... cattle farm ... cattle farm

That's right! DIA is located in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! It would be like Chicago placing it's airport in Rockford. The worst part about this though is the sheer number of housing developments we saw in the general vicinity of the airport. These are the same idiots who 5 years later complain the planes are too loud. Well guess what Sparky! The airport was there first.

Okay, back to our day. As I mentioned, the place where we picked up our rental car was on the complete opposite side of town. The reason? No airport fees and my bother (who works for the rental car company we used) got us a great rate (50% off!). So, there were the 4 of us: Debbie, myself, my brother, and my dad. There were the 3 rentals plus the car in which we came [notice the grammar?] (The 3rd was for my mom and stepdad who were flying in later and staying at the same hotel as Debbie and I) {let's put in another aside with curly braces :) } It was everyone gets their own car day and we each took our cars to Boston Market for a unique Denver experience ... shut up ... it was a DENVER Boston Market so leave me alone!!!! My mom got in a little late as did my sister. When she arrived at around 7:20, we all went to dinner.

Wow ... this is getting a little long .... guess I should stop making side comments.

We found a patch of restaurants (well ... 3 actually): Applebees, Outback Steakhouse, and Ted's Montana Grill. Well, when offered 2 national chain restaurants and one that appears to be a local chain, I pick the local chain everytime. This turned out to be a good choice as the specialty was ... Bison steak. Now, don't you animal rights lovers worry ... these bison were humanely killed for their wings and, to prevent waste, were also used for steak. Bison is actually a little sweeter than beef steak and a lot leaner. We had a great meal and then went back to our hotels for the night. After all, the big day was tomorrow and we all wanted to be well rested.

Stay tuned for the next post ... Denver - Day 2 (betcha didn't see that title coming did ya?)

Ugh!

That's the only way I can describe my first day back at work. Did you ever feel like you're the only firefighter and your coworkers like starting fires when you're gone? That's how I felt today. I particularly enjoyed the "IMPORTANT! ABSOLUTELY MUST BE DONE!!!" emails that I received on Thursday. HAHAHA .... guess that's not getting done. I will begin posting details about our trip and pictures should be along soon, I just have to get motivated enough to go through them.

We're back

We got back from Colorado today. We're both exhausted so its time for bed. I'll post details and pictures from our trip later. But ... for now ... must sleep!

Blog Hiatus

Just a quick note to let you know I won't be updating the blog for about a week. Debbie and I are travelling to Colorado to attend my brother's wedding. Then, we plan on taking some time to visit friends and see the sites. Of particular interest is Colorado Springs, where Debbie's parents lived for about 17 months LOOOONNNNNGGG before she was born. When we come back, I'm sure we will have stories and pictures ... lots and lots of pictures.

Finally ... something for me and the baby

After all that time in Babies R' Us, I kept thinking something was missing. Well, I found it. Baby outfits for geeks! PERFECT! My favorite shirt is the "I TCP/IP ... but mostly IP" onesie. Debbie may roll her eyes, but tell me how my child could NOT get an outfit like this?

FOUR HOURS!!!

That's how long Debbie and I were in Babies R' Us on Sunday. Four frickin hours registering stuff for our newest family member. The worst part is ... we're not even done yet. We have to go back (but we did find a little coupon that let's you into the store before open on Sunday).
Now, I will say I spent much of that time taking stuff apart, putting it back together, operating it, making sure I could do it one-handed. You know, crap that will actually happen once this baby gets here.
One thing Debbie and I have come to learn is that we tend to like stuff that is either discontinued or will be soon. It's out lot in life. Here's the funny thing about registering at Babies R' Us ... you can't register for discontinued items (they have a special red tag to let you know). Do you know how many times Debbie and I went "Oooo ... I like that!" only to see the red tag glaring at us and laughing? I hate that red tag.

Pictures galore

Well, thanks to gallery, I now have something else to take up my time ... Posting pictures for my loyal readers (all 4 of you). First up, I know you have been waiting with baited breath for the pictures of the basement with a carpet. Here it is. If you go up one gallery to the main Basement gallery, you can see the progression of the stairs from ugly, unadorned wooden stairs to the masterpiece that they are now. In addition to that, I have posted pictures from our Trip to Alpena. Enjoy!

What CAN'T you buy?

Here is a review I never thought I'd see nor do I wish to ever see again. All you need to know is that this review includes the phrase "penis slicer luddite". Fortunately, the reviewer is of the same opinion as I am on this product ... WHHHAAAAAAAA???????

Whew!

My parents and cousins left on Monday, and it took this long just to recover from the experience. :) We had an absolutely wonderful time with them here. Every year they come, I am reminded that I am getting older. As mentioned in previous posts, my 3 cousins are 14, 14, and 9. I, however, always think of them as 10, 10, and 5. They are growing up so fast (and becoming quite stunning looking young women). Yeesh.
The other thing that happens when they visit is I realize, no matter how hard I try, I am, and will continue to be, uncool. I didn't think I was THAT uncool, I am a geek so the coolness is relative, but I would listen to these girls talk and feel that scene in Finding Nemo when the young turtle explains to Marlin how to exit the E.A.C. I believe Marlin says something like "It's like he's speaking a different language". Well, my cousins would hold entire conversations during which I could understand the words, but not be able to parse the sentence. I mean the words were from English, but the sentences were not.
Ah ... family.

More geeky madness

Well, I decided I wanted to play around with this neat little tool I saw and here is the result. I originally saw this on my one friend, Justyna's site. Then I saw it on Heather and Rob's site. So, I downloaded Gallery to see how it managed online photos and I have to say that I am quite impressed. The install did have a few hiccups, but I was able to figure them out. You probably have already seen the basement pictures, but I thought I would post some pictures of Lizzy too. Hope you all enjoy them!

YOU DROPPED THE BABY!!!

No ... not me. That would be a little difficult right now. Once again, Daddy Types has come through with another hysterical story. I thought about writing my own post, but this story is just too funny.

P.S. Read the comments to this story as well. They are just as hysterical. DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL!