The Perks of Infidelity

I need a mistress. Recent events have convinced me of this. Oh, don't worry. Our marriage is going fine. It's just that ... I need Debbie to think I'm with my mistress and my mistress to think I'm with Debbie so I can play Halo 3. Without that mistress, I have no excuse to snuggle up next to my actual lover ... my Xbox.