As Valentine's Day approaches, I would like to bring to light a serious disease that affects most of the women I know. Women afflicted with this disease have an inability to leave short messages on voice mail/answering machines. This problem, which I have dubbed blabberitis, is a serious one as mailboxes and answering machines belonging to men fill up with long winded messages that boil down to "Hey, call me when you get this".
My wife is afflicted blabberitis, and I must deal with it on an almost daily basis. The messages she leaves can be broken down as such:

1. Greeting (usually the shortest part of the message)
   
2. The entire thought process that brought about the need to call
   
3. The reason for calling
   
4. Follow-up action required on your part

The second item is completely useless as I could care less what made you call me, I just want to know what it is you want. Did I really need to know the entire conversation you had with a co-worker or friend that sparked this question you now have? Trust me, I DON'T! Ladies, omitting that item could easily shave a full minute off of your messages.
It is the last item, however, that usually is the one that fills most of the message. Have you ever watched When Harry Met Sally? (if you have to deal with a woman who leaves messages like this, I would presume you have seen it). Do you remember how Meg Ryan orders in the various diners? There are about 3-6 directives given, each one covering a failure in a previous scenario. Such as, "I want a warm apple pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, but if you don't have vanilla ..." You get the point. This is the type of follow-up action heard in messages left by my wife. Have an answer before this time, do this ... have an answer after this time, do this ... don't have an answer right now, but think you'll have one by a certain time, do this ... etc. The list goes on.

My point is this: Help a woman you know to learn how to leave a short message. Your answering machine will thank you.